


Geometric Proof

by Ningikuga



Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome, The Spoony Experiment
Genre: At4W Meta, Bondage, Hypertime Theory, Light BDSM, M/M, Magic Theory, Math and Science Metaphors, Multi, Polyamory, Sex Toys, Threesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-31 15:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13978164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ningikuga/pseuds/Ningikuga
Summary: An exploration of geometric and erotic relationships between four people and points in hyperspace and hypertime.  Which is to say, mostly smut, in varied configurations, with appropriate working.





	1. Edge 1: Connection

**Author's Note:**

> This gets kinkier as we go. Warnings and enticements will be added as the chapters are uploaded.
> 
> This work is intended to depict the characters/personae, not real people, and absolutely no implications about the people who write and play those characters are intended or should be inferred.

_Between any two points in space there is exactly one line segment._

\---

“I swear on Marie Curie’s grave, this hero nonsense needs to stop,” Insano grumbled under his breath. He knocked twice on the door, noticed it was ajar, and shoved it open. “Spoony, have you seen the keys to Neutro? I could have sworn I left them in the kitchen -”

Spoony frantically yanked up the waistband of his sweatpants. “God-fucking-damnit, Insano, knock first!” he shouted.

“I did,” Insano noted. “You really should have closed the door all the way if you wanted privacy.” He half-unconsciously catalogued the tell-tale signifiers: flushed face, dilated pupils, muscle tension visible in the neck and ankles, bulge just under the drawstring of the sweatpants.

Spoony shot him an annoyed glare. “No, I haven’t seen Neutro’s keys, not that I’m a hundred percent sure I’d recognize them anyway,” he huffed. “Now, will you close the fucking door already?”

“If that’s what you really want,” Insano replied with a smirk, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

Spoony groaned and rolled his eyes. “No,” he corrected, “I meant with you on the other side of the door. I’m . . . busy.”

“Is that what you call it?” Insano chuckled. “I think of that as a leisure activity, myself.”

“I really don’t want to hear about it,” Spoony protested, finally moving his hands away from his lap to clasp over his ears. “Seriously, Insano, cock-blocking me when I’m by myself is a low blow, even for you.”

“That could not be farther from my intention,” Insano said, brushing his hair back and striding across the room. “I was actually going to offer my assistance.”

Spoony blinked at him, mouth half-open. “Wait, what?”

“I was going to offer to help you release a bit of tension,” Insano repeated, stepping behind Spoony and removing his gloves. “I’ll admit, given the cloning hypothesis about my origins, I’ve been curious how similar we are neurologically. And there’s only so much data I can collect by scanning you remotely while you’re asleep.”

“When did you do that?” Spoony spluttered, twisting half-around in his chair.

“Several times, quite a while ago,” Insano replied, attempting to sound reassuring and failing. His hands fell to Spoony’s shoulders. “But there’s no substitute for direct observation in science, when it comes right down to it.” His fingers kneaded tense muscles and tendons beneath them as his thumbs found the tops of Spoony’s shoulder blades.

Spoony shuddered; his head slumped as he leaned forward. “Jesus,” he groaned. “How did you know I needed a backrub?”

“You hunch up your shoulders when you’re tense, especially when you’ve been editing video for too long,” Insano observed. “I do the same thing when I’m doing microscope work.” He worked out a knot with one thumb. “And really, bending over a keyboard or a controller for too long - you should get a better chair, you know.”

“I would if they were cheaper,” Spoony mumbled. “The green one’s the best I can afford right now. Maybe you should invent one.”

“Hmm,” Insano mused. “Ergonomics isn’t exactly my field of study, but perhaps you have something there.” His fingertips followed the curve of Spoony’s spine downwards. “Breathe, seriously. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I am breathing,” Spoony complained. “I just - you fucking barged in on me, and -”

“I did,” Insano agreed. “And I am attempting to make it up to you.” His hands slipped under the hem of Spoony’s threadbare t-shirt and probed the small of his back, hunting for the right nerve clusters. “Take an actual breath, from your diaphragm. How you haven’t passed out yet, breathing that shallowly, I can’t imagine.”

Spoony looked indignant, then started coughing. Insano’s fingertips trailed up his back, away from his kidneys, then settled back down as the coughing fit subsided and Spoony gulped air.

“That’s a little better,” Insano crooned. “Now, relax, will you?” He flexed his hands against the muscles just on either side of Spoony’s lower spine.

Spoony straightened up, his eyes flaring. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, but he didn’t pull away; he half-twisted in his seat, trying to look behind him.

“There’s a set of ganglia here that feed into the nerves in your groin,” Insano explained as he repeated the motion, fingers lightly pressing into Spoony’s pale flesh. “I find gentle stimulation of them highly enjoyable.” He leaned in until his lips just barely grazed the top of Spoony’s ear. “I thought you might as well,” he whispered.

“No kidding,” Spoony murmured, arching his back. “That’s - is that a good angle for you?”

“I can see what I’m doing better from here, but it might be easier to apply the right amount of pressure if I were standing in front of you,” Insano admitted. “The angle isn’t exactly optimal.”

Spoony swiveled the chair around. “That better?” he asked, as his fingers gripped the arms and then let go.

“Much,” Insano agreed, reaching around him and stepping forward so that Spoony’s knees were between his. Spoony’s hands slid underneath the scrubs, hunting for the same points. “Down about two centimeters and one centimeter closer to the vertebrae,” Insano instructed the top of Spoony’s head. “Ah, yes, right there, you’ve got it.” Such a delectable sensation; he shuddered lightly as Spoony’s fingers settled into the right orbits.

“I’m hard as a sword hilt here,” Spoony mumbled into Insano’s chest as his fingers moved in tiny circles against Insano’s back. “You?”

“Getting there,” Insano admitted. His thumbs settled over Spoony’s hip-bones.

“You said something about helping me release some tension earlier,” Spoony continued. “I think maybe I could be into that.”

“Mmm,” Insano murmured into Spoony’s hair. “Any specific ideas? I have several hypotheses I’d like to test, but I can be flexible.”

“Well,” Spoony replied, “I can give myself a hand job, so I was figuring on something a little more complex. Do you give head?”

“Of course.” Insano pulled back and grinned. “Do you?” He tugged off Spoony’s t-shirt without waiting for an answer.

“I’m no pro, but I’ll give it a shot,” Spoony said, shrugging. “Um, might be easier on the bed than the chair.”

“Very likely so,” Insano agreed, shucking the lab coat and shimmying out of the scrub pants. “Make yourself comfortable and I’ll join you.”

Spoony watched Insano for a moment, then kicked off his sweatpants and climbed onto the unmade bed. “Take off that shirt, too,” he ordered.

Insano frowned. “All right,” he agreed, “but the goggles stay on.” He wadded up the green fabric and tossed it on top of the lab coat as he climbed on top of Spoony.

“I don’t _oh God_ -” Whatever Spoony had been about to say was smothered by a groan as Insano’s tongue slithered down him. He wrapped his arms around Insano’s thighs and tried to follow suit; if having a dick in his mouth bothered him at all, he didn’t show it.

Insano suspected it didn’t; Spoony’s skin tasted like his own, allowing for slightly different grooming products and schedules. His sensitive spots were in exactly the same places, just beneath the head and right at the base of the shaft. He understood why Spoony hadn’t wanted him to just jerk him off, like he’d expected to be doing right now; it really would have been entirely too close to regular masturbation.

“Fuck, man,” Spoony mumbled around his cock. “I’m about to bust a nut already.”

Insano raised his head and ordered, “Wait for me,” before returning to his studies. Spoony’s toes were curling in the crumpled sheets; fleetingly, Insano wished he had a free hand to pin Spoony down with, even though he wasn’t bucking against him yet.

Instead, Spoony’s mouth went into overdrive, sucking him hard and doing something Insano couldn’t quite parse with the back of his tongue. Ah, Spoony had figured out their shared anatomy, too; he was using one hand to play with that spot at the base while he worked that suction.

Perhaps he’d been cooped up in the lab too long; Insano ran his tongue around the ridge of Spoony’s glans and whispered, “All right, you can come now.”

Immediately, Spoony’s hips twitched; Insano felt his roommate’s hand close around his shaft and pump as those lips kept working their magic. He swirled his tongue and then sucked hard, once, twice, and was rewarded with a convulsive shudder and a spurt. He kept sucking, licking, swallowing, then stars burst before his eyes and he was twitching and wailing himself, barely able to keep his weight on his hands as he came.

Spoony’s grip on his legs relaxed. “Holy shit, I needed that,” he groaned against Insano’s thigh.

“Happy to be able to be of assistance and gather data at the same time,” Insano gasped. He rolled onto his side, just barely clear of the edge of the bed. Spoony hadn’t swallowed; mutely, Insano fumbled for a tissue from the box on the desk and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” Spoony said, cleaning off his face. “Um, next time, text me first or something instead of just walking in, okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Insano answered, noting that Spoony had just assumed there would be a next time.

He liked that theory quite a bit. It would require intensive testing, of course.


	2. Edge 2: Contrast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A third variable is added to the equation. Or perhaps factored into the equation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: our hero and our villain are not as good at verbalizing consent as one might wish. It all gets worked out before things get too serious, though. Also, Insano's idea of dirty talk is a little sex-negative.

_Two lines, line segments, or rays that share a vertex form an angle._

“Doctor Insano!” The shout came from behind him; he turned and, yes, there was Linkara, brandishing that ridiculous flintlock.

“Do you mind?” Insano called back over his shoulder. “I’m in the middle of some densely populated territory here. Wouldn’t want to step on a church or anything.”

An energy burst flew past his head and left a scorch mark next to the viewscreen. “Stop this giant robot immediately!” Linkara demanded at the same volume.

“If I try to bring Neutro to a sudden stop while he’s still moving at this velocity, he’ll topple over,” Insano replied. “Massive property damage. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Linkara charged forward. “Then bring this giant robot to a halt as quickly as possible under the circumstances!” he bellowed, bringing the gun up again.

Insano keyed in a quick sequence on the console and whirled around; the heel of his hand impacted solidly on Linkara’s wrist, and the gun went flying. Linkara tried to get a punch in with his left, but Insano managed to dodge just in time and grabbed Linkara’s shoulders, whirling the two of them in place and pinning Linkara against the console.

“Very clever, Linkara,” Insano sneered. “Did you think I didn’t know you were hiding in the maintenance shaft? Or that you were the one who stole Neutro’s keys? They’ve got a tracker on them, you know.”

“Of corse I know,” Linkara spat back. “The little yellow light’s been blinking on them for two weeks. Pollo traced the signal back to Spoony’s basement.”

Insano’s eyebrows went up. “Then what’s the point of this little maneuver?” he growled. “Surely you must have known I would know you were coming. You haven’t even bothered to mask the signal. You can’t possibly have just assumed you could burst in here and overpower me.”

Linkara looked sheepish for a split-second.

“Oh, my Science,” Insano giggled, “you did, didn’t you? You thought you could win this fight through brute force and superior firepower.”

“I figured you’d be distracted,” Linkara argued. “I’ve driven Neutro before, remember. The controls aren’t exactly easy - hey, wait!” He thrashed in Insano’s grip, trying to look at the console, which was at that instant mostly under his own posterior.

“He’s on autopilot at the moment,” Insano explained. “Heading home via the least populated route, which will take us under part of Lake Superior and then down Lake Michigan. In a few moments, you’ll be trapped in here with me, unless you have a spell that will let you breathe underwater.”

“Not yet,” Linkara said, his eyes hardening. One knee jerked upwards; Insano twisted aside, cackling.

“Ooh, naughty,” Insano chided. He shifted, closing the remaining inches between them and pinning Linkara’s legs with his weight. “What was that for? You’re the one who’s trespassing here, hero.”

“What were you intending to do with Neutro?” Linkara snarled. “You were clearly looking for me. Why else would you be in Minnesota?”

Insano shoved Linkara back against the console, knocking his duster open. “Well, since you asked,” Insano replied, “I was trying to get some clear recordings of the teleporter signal from your spaceship. The version that was installed on the Critic’s house-ship has a few bugs. The sensor array on Neutro’s head is far enough above the constant electromagnetic mess of cell phone signals to get a better reading, but I had to get closer to your apartment to get decent signal clarity.”

Linkara narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?” he protested. “You probably could have just asked Linksano. I don’t think he could have helped bragging about the teleporter system; he’s doubled the efficiency.”

“Like I’d take advice on anything from your two-bit mad scientist,” Insano scoffed. “But the point is, I have you right where I want you now, Linkara!”

Linkara tried to free his arms and failed. “So what now, Insano?” he sniffed defiantly. “Torture? Mayhem? Are you going to kill me now?”

“What fun would that be?” Insano asked, leaning dramatically over Linkara. The goggles glinted in the harsh light of the cramped control room.

For the first time, Linkara actually looked nervous. “So - what then?” he asked, swallowing.

“Surely you can guess,” Insano chuckled. Before Linkara could say anything, he swooped in for a kiss.

Just as he’d theorized, Linkara’s lips were warm and soft, and there was virtually no hesitation before he kissed him back. It took barely a second’s coaxing to get him to open his mouth. Insano leaned over the console and ground against him. Again, his calculations had been correct; Linkara was just as hard as he was.

Around the third kiss, Linkara relaxed, letting the console support his weight instead of trying to stand at that odd angle. His arms stopped straining against Insano’s grip; Insano couldn’t help smiling.

“Last chance to break free before we’re underwater,” Insano giggled into the crook of Linkara’s neck.

“I’ll figure something out,” Linkara breathed. “I’m going to have to immobilize you, or at least temporarily disable you, to get out of here; Mar- I mean, the Magic Gun is on the opposite side of the console from the door, and I can’t just leave her, uh, it here.” He made no attempt to escape.

“Mmm-hmm,” Insano replied skeptically. “Of course that’s why you’re not struggling.”

Linkara’s eyes flicked to the side. “You, um, can you see the gun from where you are?”

Insano contemplated lying, but there wasn’t much point in expending the mental effort at the moment when there was something far more fascinating in front of him. “No,” he answered, “it landed off to the side behind the access panel for the viewscreen.”

“Oh, thank God,” Linkara mumbled.

That was unexpected; not only was Linkara on the wrong side of the console to grab it, it was going to require two-thirds of a trip around the room for him to retrieve it and then make it to the exit. Insano decided not to ask and nipped at his nemesis’s earlobe instead. His reward was a most intriguing wriggle, as Linkara’s back arched against what would have been Neutro’s environmental controls if they’d ever been activated. Fortunately for everyone, the actual working thermostat - really, just an internal fan switch and a thermocouple - was on the wall by the door and well away from their writhing.

Insano shifted his grip back to Linkara’s shoulders and nibbled down his neck. His nose brushed the unbuttoned collar of that crisp white shirt; it smelled significantly less of starch than he expected, more like old paper and cheap ink. Snickering despite himself, he asked, “Surely you don’t keep your clothes and your comics in the same closet?”

Linkara’s eyes flared in an instant of panic, then settled into a glower. “Of course not,” he growled, and reached for Insano’s arms, pulling him closer and shutting him up by shoving his tongue in Insano’s mouth.

Insano broke away after a minute, coming up for air and to let his goggles un-fog. Somewhere in there, Linkara’s hat had fallen off and was now lying on the console itself. Unsurprisingly, his hair was dark with sweat and sticking up on one side; between that and the apple-pink flush in his cheeks, he looked absolutely delectable. 

Insano took a step back, tightened his grip on Linkara’s shoulders, and flipped him over, bending him over the console and pushing his face into it. Linkara offered only a hint of resistance before accepting his new position; Insano leaned over him and pressed his lips to the back of Linkara’s neck, grinding against him just enough to make his intentions perfectly clear.

“You could have just asked,” Linkara grumbled, but he gamely pushed back.

“Not as much fun,” Insano replied, shoving the draping fabric of the duster up and to one side. He shifted one hand to the center of Linkara’s back, holding him down with leverage alone, and slid the other around into the tiny space between Linkara’s waist and the control panel. The belt buckle was easy enough, the button also fairly simple, but the zipper was a bit tricky from this angle.

“Can I safely assume,” Linkara gasped as Insano roughly yanked down his trousers, “that you have lube on you somewhere?”

“Of course,” Insano answered, interrupting the removal of Linkara’s boxers (which had little Green Lantern symbols printed all over them, because why wouldn’t they) to fumble in the pockets of his lab coat. He set a condom and an unmarked squeeze bottle on the panel to the right, and tugged Linkara’s boxers to his knees.

Science, he’d never seen an ass so pale! He gave it a good, sharp smack, just to put some color in it; Linkara yelped, and his ears reddened as much as the impact site.

“Ah, I see that’s a new sensation for you, isn’t it?” Insano chuckled. “Of course, you’re far too good and heroic and law-abiding to have ever earned a spanking before.” He swatted the other cheek, not quite as hard; handprints were amusing, but bruises wouldn’t do at all - not yet, anyway.

Linkara gritted his teeth and swallowed the second outcry. “You’d be surprised,” he said, his voice straining with the effort to stay level.

“Oh, have you been naughty, then?” Insano’s hands roughly kneaded the newly-reddened flesh.

“Or maybe I’m just planning on it,” Linkara groaned. His face was flushed, now, nearly as red as his ass was. “Intent is a sin, too, right?”

“I’d explain why that’s bullshit, but I have no intention of standing here arguing theology with you in a moving robot,” Insano replied. He gave his gloves a quick check for tears or rough spots and found none. “If you’ve got genuine qualms about this, ethical or otherwise, then put your pants back on and I’ll send you home.”

A tremor ran through Linkara’s legs. “I didn’t mean it,” he whimpered.

“Good!” Insano flipped open the cap on the squeeze bottle and generously coated his fingers with something transparent, the color of green glass bottles but ever-so-slightly luminescent. “Bend over a little farther and spread your legs.”

Linkara complied, arching his back slightly. Oh, this was going to be fun. 

Insano probed gently with one finger, massaging a ring of muscle that clearly had mixed feelings at the moment. “Breathe,” he ordered. “If you hold your breath like that you’ll tense up without realizing you’re doing it.”

Linkara closed his eyes and drew in a long, slow breath, releasing it just as slowly. On the second one, he hummed lightly, a soft, fluttering note. By the third breath, he’d relaxed enough for Insano to slip one finger in, still probing, tentative. Insano wasn’t sure whether that was a singer’s breathing exercise or a magical meditation, but either way he wasn’t going to argue with the results.

Linkara shifted his weight back, still humming. “If you go slow, you can go a little deeper,” he murmured.

Insano considered reminding Linkara who was in charge, but honestly, he didn’t need words to do that at this point. Instead, he rotated his wrist half a turn and felt for a specific anatomical feature. When he found it, Linkara’s knees almost buckled; the hum turned into a sharp high note.

Insano eased away from it, then deliberately nudged it again. Linkara’s knuckles turned white on the edge of the console. “Oh, please,” he whispered.

“Not yet; I’m still experimenting,” Insano replied. He added a second finger to the first, probing, stretching, exploring, all with the patience of a scientist waiting for a reaction to come to a boil.

Linkara’s legs trembled again; his fingertips gripped the console tight enough to leave dents in the thin metal. “Seriously,” he rasped, “any time you’re ready.”

“Well,” Insano snickered, “if you insist.” He withdrew his fingers and peeled off the glove, tossing it behind him, then tugged down his own scrubs. The foil packet joined the glove on the floor as he rolled the condom on, then added a fresh gob of lube from the squeeze bottle. “Hold still,” he commanded as he positioned himself.

“Not sure I can promise that,” Linkara replied.

“Then at least don’t squirm,” Insano demanded. “And don’t lock your knees.” He put a hand on each of Linkara’s hips and assayed a shallow thrust.

Linkara groaned and shuddered, but didn’t tense up. Insano took a deep breath through his teeth and forced himself not to thrust harder; proper experiments require timing. He’d imagined this moment so many times, he’d worried the real thing would be underwhelming, but no; Linkara’s flesh was as warm and tight and inviting as he’d dreamed.

“Harder,” Linkara moaned, and Insano’s hips obeyed, scientific timing or no. As he pressed in tighter, he reached with his still-gloved hand and fondled the trembling hero’s balls.

They found their rhythm in the first few thrusts, not too fast a pace with but firm, sharp strokes. Linkara’s back arched as he groaned, pushing back against Insano’s hips to meet him. Insano gripped harder at Linkara’s waist with his gloveless hand, trying to tug him even closer.

A trickle of sweat ran around the edge of the goggles, down the slope of Insano’s nose, past his gasping mouth and off into the bunched fabric of Linkara’s coat. A mist of condensation fogged the dials of the console under Linkara’s white-knuckled hands.

Insano leaned over and growled, “Would you like it harder, you two-faced dirty little slut?” as close as he could get to Linkara’s ear.

“Oh, God, yes,” Linkara yelped between moans.

Insano let go of Linkara’s testicles and curled his gloved hand around his erection instead. The careful plans and observations of science were forgotten as Insano’s hips slammed into Linkara’s ass, now a lovely pink all over. Their grunts and groans grew louder and higher, as did the temperature in Neutro’s cockpit.

“I think I’m getting close,” Linkara finally gasped, his eyes closed behind sweat-speckled glasses.

“Wait for me,” Insano demanded, picking up his pace just a little. “Not too much longer.”

Linkara dropped his head and murmured, “Please, I want to feel you, I want to feel you come in me . . .”

Well, who could turn down an invitation like that? Insano pumped Linkara’s cock, thrust himself as deep as he could, and growled, “All right then, come for me too, you filthy comic book whore.”

Linkara’s whole body shuddered, and his cock all but leaped in Insano’s hand as it erupted. He clenched, and that was enough to send Insano over the edge; the heat that had been pooling at the base of his spine uncoiled into white light and wetness and a torrent of half-formed words.

For a moment, Insano slumped over Linkara’s back, and the two just breathed together, panting and drenched in sweat. Over their breathing, Insano could hear the fans in the ventilation system whirring, trying to deal with the heat of their exertion.

Once he got his breath back, Insano straightened up and took a step back. The condom and the second glove joined the first one on the floor, and Insano adjusted his scrubs. His legs were shaking, but he wasn’t about to let Linkara realize that.

“Um,” Linkara mumbled, “I hope the controls are waterproof.” He pushed himself up to standing and hiked his pants back up.

“Water-resistant, anyway,” Insano said with a wave of one hand. He fished a fresh pair of latex gloves from the pockets of his lab coat. “Nothing that can’t handle a bit of ejaculate.”

Linkara’s cheeks were still tomato-red and streaked with sweat. He stared at the floor, at the ceiling, at the console, everywhere but at Insano as he tucked his shirt in and straightened his vest and coat. “Um, I need to get -” he half-whispered, pointing.

Insano tugged his gloves on and swiped at the spattered fluids on the control panel with a wadded-up tissue. “Go right ahead,” he said amiably.

Linkara scrambled around the console to retrieve his hat, then poked behind the viewscreen panel and re-holstered his gun. He mumbled something at it that Insano didn’t catch. Did it have a microphone in it? Insano had thought that was what the wrist communicator was for.

Taking a deep breath, Linkara re-composed himself. He glanced at the viewscreen, which was currently displaying their current location on a map, with a radar screen in one corner. “So we really are under Lake Superior?” he asked.

“Indeed we are,” Insano replied, trying to sound just a little more winded than he actually felt. It was a tricky balance. “If you want to escape, you’ll have to make it through a hundred feet of ice water.”

“Not quite,” Linkara said, grinning triumphantly. He raised his wrist to his face. “Pollo, teleport me back to the ship!” he shouted into the communicator band; his image broke up and disappeared.

Insano waited until he was gone, then darted to a side panel. “Did we get it, did we get it - yes!” He pumped his fist, for science. “A full recording of the teleportation signal! Neutro doesn’t only have detectors on the outside, you know!”


	3. Edge 3: Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linkara and Spoony share a hotel room at a con, with predictable results.

_Two co-planar angles that share a vertex and a common side are adjacent angles._

Linkara got up to turn off the camera as Spoony flopped backwards onto the bed. 

“Ugh,” Spoony groaned, “what kind of hotel doesn’t even have a coffee maker in the room? You didn’t bring any of your robots with you that we could send to the soda machine, did you? Burton’s back home watching my stuff to make sure Insano doesn’t mess with anything.”

The mention of Insano made Linkara’s nose wrinkle. “No, for more or less the same reason,” he answered. “I don’t want ‘90s Kid or Linksano making any more of a mess than they usually do, so Pollo and the cybermats are watching the place while I’m here.” He removed a memory card from the camera and tucked it into an inside pocket of his duster.

“Sugar, I need actual, honest-to-god sugar,” Spoony groaned. “Preferably decaf, although right now I might be willing to risk it. This is why I don’t go to many conventions anymore. How did I get talked into this?”

“I asked you, remember?” Linkara looked distinctly uncomfortable. “I thought it would be more fun than just teleporting you to the apartment to do a cameo there.”

“You weren’t the only one,” Spoony said, waving his arms to indicate the entire hotel floor. “I did two cameos before yours, you know. Not full crossovers, thank god; I hate it when people get overzealous about recruiting for those.” He rubbed his nose, as if remembering a long-forgotten facepunch. “And I got put on a couple of panels, too. I don’t mind that part, though; I just wish the scheduling was better.”

“I can get you a soda,” Linkara offered. “The machine’s just down the hall.”

Spoony pushed himself up on one elbow. “Why can’t you just magic one up?” he asked. “Is there some ethical policy against it or something?”

“Well, it is technically stealing unless you also magic some change into the correct spot, too,” Linkara answered with a half-grin, “but it’s actually more draining to conjure a can of soda than it is to go get one physically. Remember, magic comes from your life force.”

“Thought you said the hat protected you from that,” Spoony mumbled, rolling back and staring at the ceiling.

“It keeps the life-force drain from injuring me,” Linkara explained. “It still doesn’t mean I have an infinite supply. I’m going to go get a soda for myself, anyway; do you want one?”

“Yeah, sure, if you’re going anyway, grab me one,” Spoony answered, still staring at the ceiling tiles.

When Linkara came back, Spoony’s eyes were closed. Linkara set a cold can next to the alarm clock and tiptoed back to the camera. He had just unfastened it from the tripod when Spoony sat up again.

“Thanks,” Spoony murmured, reaching for the soda. “Sorry, was just resting my eyes.”

Linkara grimaced. “Jet lag really hitting you that badly? It’s only two time zones.”

“Not just that,” Spoony admitted. “Although that’s sure not fucking helping. I’ve been worrying about stupid shit lately, and then not sleeping well.” He cracked open the can and swallowed half its contents.

After settling the camera in its case, Linkara shifted to the other side of the bed and sat down. “I don’t suppose you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Like I said, it’s all stupid shit,” Spoony replied. “Either mind-numbingly mundane stuff like ‘did I save all of my receipts for taxes,’ or how-the-hell-did-this-happen-to-me crap like ‘is the housing association going to fine us for Insano parking his giant robot in the back yard again’. That kind of thing.” He ran a hand down his face. “Is it even safe to have that fucker in a residential area? I mean, it’s not radioactive or anything, is it?”

“No, Pollo’s never detected any energy leaks or anything. The power source is shielded better than it needs to be, honestly,” Linkara reassured him. “Neutro’s weakness has always been its control systems, so I’d worry more about it stepping on cars or something. Wait, that probably wasn’t helpful, either.”

Spoony chuckled wryly. “Well, so far neither you nor Insano have managed to do that much damage with it, so I guess I’ll take it.” He sighed and stretched, wriggling his shoulders. “It’s noisy on this hallway, too. That probably didn’t help last night either.”

Linkara leaned against the headboard and laughed. “Yeah, the dulcet tones of our colleagues who only see each other in person a few times a year getting drunk and/or laid together can be a little overwhelming,” he agreed.

Spoony visibly bit back his first response. “Great, now I’m picturing you listening to a couple of them pounding the mattresses and cringing in terror,” he said instead.

“I wasn’t cringing in _terror_ ,” Linkara riposted, “just at their bad technique. And the fact that they were drunk.” His face grew more serious. “Actually, maybe it is a little prudish of me, but I’m just not a fan of drunk sex. Alcohol is for numbing pain; if you need it for getting off, someone’s doing something wrong.”

Spoony looked at him thoughtfully and finished off the soda. “That was only about eighty percent what I was expecting from you,” he said, tossing the can into the recycling bin under the desk and almost missing.

Linkara grinned. “Nice shot. What were you expecting, then?”

“i’m not sure,” Spoony mused. “The part about critiquing other people’s sex moves by ear makes perfect sense for you, though.” He rolled over and crawled up the bed on his elbows until he could grab a pillow.

“What can I say? Snarkers gotta snark,” Linkara said, shrugging. He kicked his feet up onto the bed and put his hands behind his head. “I expect they’ve done the same.”

“Not to you,” Spoony corrected him.

Linkara smiled. “You might be surprised,” he said lightly. “Just because I don’t go around bragging every time I ‘finish the crossover’ with someone, doesn’t mean I haven’t done it.”

“Oh, really?” Spoony snorted. “Name names. Verifiable ones.”

“Gentlemen do not kiss and tell,” Linkara sniffed.

Spoony arched an eyebrow at him. “Have I mentioned that Insano isn’t much of a gentleman?” he asked.

Linkara let out his breath in a huff. “I kind of figured,” he admitted, “but I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. When did he tell you?”

Spoony’s eyes tracked across the ceiling tiles again, drifting away from Linkara. They were focused somewhere around the closet light fixture when he finally said, “The next time he and I fucked.”

“Ah.” Linkara didn’t sound surprised, exactly, or even disappointed, but he flinched anyway. “I’m sorry; I didn’t know. It, ah, it won’t happen again.”

Spoony re-focused and turned to face Linkara. “I think he’ll be pretty disappointed if it doesn’t,” he said. “And I don’t particularly want to deal with an angry mad scientist in the basement again. But if you feel that way about it, I totally get it.”

Linkara’s nose crinkled. “Wait,” he protested, “I think I missed a cue here somewhere. I don’t want to be the person Insano’s cheating on you with.”

“No cheating involved,” Spoony explained, grabbing another pillow and propping his head up on both. “Insano isn’t really into monogamous relationships, and he was pretty up front about that with me. I’m guessing you guys didn’t really get to talk about it, what with the giant robot and everything.”

“We both had other things on our mind,” Linkara agreed. “But are you okay with that? I didn’t ever picture either of you as the hippie free-love types, I’ll admit.”

“It’s more just being really casual about it,” Spoony said, shrugging with one shoulder. “It’s not like he and I discuss our feelings on a regular basis or anything. But I figured you ought to know before the two of you get into another heat-of-battle situation.”

Linkara nodded, then looked thoughtful. “Hm,” he said, “since you wanted proof that I do, on occasion, ‘finish the crossover’ -”

“It’s amazing how I can hear the scare quotes when you say that,” Spoony chuckled.

“- Really, dude?” Linkara groaned. He shook his head, then trailed one finger behind Spoony’s ear, tucking in a stray lock of hair.

Spoony froze. As Linkara withdrew his hand, Spoony followed it with his eyes. “Just so I don’t fuck this up,” he said, still looking at Linkara’s hand and not his face, “are we actually about to do this or are you just screwing with me?”

“Screwing may be involved,” Linkara answered, dropping his hand back in his lap. “That depends on what you want.”

Spoony shrugged one arm out from under the pillow, reached for Linkara’s chest, and undid the buttons on his vest. Looking up, he started down the placket of the white shirt, still saying nothing, staring directly into Linkara’s eyes.

Linkara waited until he’d reached his waist before he caught Spoony’s wrists and stilled his hands. “Use your words,” he chided gently.

“I’m betting you didn’t ask Insano to do that,” Spoony replied, still holding his gaze steady.

“Nope,” Linkara agreed. “I’m not friends and colleagues with him, either. I’m not invested in a long-running working relationship with him, at least not like I am with you.” He brought up one of Spoony’s hands to his mouth and pressed his lips against his knuckles for a moment. “I’d like for this to happen,” he murmured between Spoony’s fingers, “but not if it’ll get between us.”

“Right at the moment,” Spoony answered, “I’d prefer there to be nothing between us at all. Can I get back to getting rid of all this fucking clothing? How are you not sweating, wearing all this?”

“Are you kidding?” Linkara let go of Spoony’s hand and chuckled. “The A/C in the convention hall is turned way down. I’m a little surprised that you were fine in just a t-shirt and jeans.”

“We’re not in the convention hall,” Spoony pointed out, as he shoved the pillows into a pile against the headboard and sat up. “And this room’s a little warm, and I’d be saying that even if I weren’t actively trying to get you naked.” He toyed with the lapel of the duster before peeling it from Linkara’s shoulders; the rich brown fabric slithered off the edge of the bed and pooled on the floor.

“Fair enough,” Linkara replied. He plucked the hat from his head and hung it on the corner of the headboard, then unbuckled his belt and holster, setting them on the nightstand and folding the duster over them loosely.

Spoony tugged at Linkara’s shirt, untucking the tails and loosening the last couple of buttons. His hands snaked under the fabric, brushing pale, soft skin; Spoony closed his eyes and lowered his head, pressing his forehead to Linkara’s bare chest. A quiet noise, less than a moan but more than a sigh, escaped his throat.

Linkara curled his fingers in the thin cotton of Spoony’s t-shirt and tugged it up over his head, tossing it on top of the coat beside the bed. Brushing Spoony’s hair back into place, he murmured, “Yeah, me too.”

“Seriously, get the rest of this off,” Spoony insisted, yanking at Linkara’s cuffs. “You. Me. Skin. _Now._ ”

Linkara shrugged off the shirt and vest, dumped them over the edge of the bed, and reached for Spoony’s jeans. Spoony’s hand went for Linkara’s fly, and they proceeded to get in each others’ way as they raced to get the other reviewer out of his pants first. As jeans, trousers, two pairs of underwear, and Spoony’s socks landed on the floor, Linkara adjusted his glasses and blushed slightly. “Okay,” he said softly, “what next?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Spoony answered, pretending he wasn’t starting to flush himself. He reached for Linkara’s shoulders, then changed his mind halfway there; his thumbs brushed down Linkara’s chest, grazed his nipples, then circled them lightly. “I guess I could just play with your tits,” he said, grinning.

Linkara shivered. “Maybe if you have glass you need cut,” he chided as his hands slipped around Spoony’s waist.

Spoony leaned forward and gave one of the now-quite-hard nipples a quick lick. “Those are pretty sensitive, then,” he noted. “Nice to know.”

“Yours aren’t?” Linkara asked, tweaking one of Spoony’s.

“Only when I’m about to nut,” Spoony answered. He slipped his hands around to Linkara’s lower back, his fingers searching for the shallow indentations next to the spine and pressing gently.

Linkara laughed, then looked thoughtful. “That feels really weird,” he commented, “but weird in a relaxing way. Not exactly what you’re going for, though, I think.”

“Yeah, you must be wired a little differently,” Spoony agreed. His hands slid upwards and he pressed Linkara towards him. “Maybe we should stick to the basics first.”

“Never a bad place to start,” Linkara agreed. He leaned in and kissed him, mouth closed but lips warm. One hand drifted to Spoony’s hair, urging him gently closer.

How many long, lazy minutes they spent pressed chest-to-chest and lip-to-lip, neither of them was sure later. It was long enough to fog up Linkara’s glasses, but since his eyes had been closed for most of it, he didn’t notice until Spoony rolled over to shake out a wrist that was threatening to fall asleep.

“This isn’t how I thought this was going to go,” Spoony said with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Linkara agreed, “I figured if this ever did happen, it’d be the two of us sneaking off in the middle of something, taking off as little clothing as possible. Like a two-minute screw in a closet or something.”

“Or just me leaping on you like a hungry dog,” Spoony continued. “Instead, this is weirdly comfortable. I’m hard as a steel pipe, but I’m in exactly no hurry.” He shifted so their ankles were intertwined. “That’s really strange for me. You?”

“A little,” Linkara admitted. “Then again, I haven’t had a bed partner in a while.” He ran his hands through Spoony’s hair again.

“Shouldn’t that make you more impatient, not less?” Spoony slid the hand that wasn’t having pins-and-needles down Linkara’s back to squeeze his ass. 

“Maybe,” Linkara answered, “but that’s not always how it works for me.” He wriggled one hand in between them, brushing Spoony’s thighs. “Then again, I’m not sure it works the exactly same for anyone.” His hand trailed upward.

“Ooh, yeah, that’s good,” Spoony purred. “Hey, as long as it’s working for you, I’m happy with it. Just a little harder?” He closed his eyes and curled his toes in the thin hotel bedsheets.

“Mmm,” Linkara agreed. “You look delicious like this.” He ducked his head and nibbled along the length of Spoony’s neck. “Just lie back and let me take care of you, okay?”

“Here you go with your knight in white armor thing,” Spoony complained mockingly. 

Linkara changed what he was doing with his hands; Spoony shut his mouth with a snap and shivered. Linkara grinned and leaned in for another kiss, pressing as close to him as he could and still have enough freedom of motion to keep stroking.

When their lips parted, Spoony’s face was flushed. “I’m - here, can you sort of get on top of me and grind on me?” he asked, glancing downwards. “If you keep doing what you’re doing, I’m going to nut before we’ve really gotten started.”

“Whatever you want,” Linkara assured him, untangling their legs just long enough for Spoony to roll onto his back and Linkara to lever himself on top of him, holding most of his weight on his hands.

Spoony wriggled under him. “How’s that?” he asked. “Will that do anything for you?” He rolled his hips, grinding upwards.

“Actually, yes, more than I thought it would,” Linkara answered, answering the motion in kind. He dipped down, pressing his lips to the hollow of Spoony’s throat as he thrust against him.

Spoony wrapped his arms around Linkara’s shoulders and let his eyes flutter closed again. “Oh, fuck, yeah,” he breathed.

Linkara gasped as his glasses slid down his nose. “I’m actually not sure how much longer I can last like this,” he admitted.

“Me either,” Spoony agreed. “Just keep going, ‘cause I don’t feel like slowing down.”

Linkara kissed him again, then lowered his head until his forehead was pressed against Spoony’s. “I don’t ever want this to stop,” he whispered.

Spoony’s fingers dug into Linkara’s back as his hips stuttered against Linkara’s. He groaned deep in his chest, thrusting short and sharp.

“Come for me?” Linkara whispered in his ear.

Spoony moaned, rolling his head back; another thrust, and hot wetness blossomed between them. “Oh, fuck, _yes_ ,” he hissed, gripping Linkara’s shoulders tight enough to leave half-moons against the pale skin.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Linkara murmured. “So pretty, my God, I just want to watch you come like that over and over.”

It took Spoony a moment to catch his breath. “I’m sure you’ll get more opportunities,” he finally answered, looking up into Linkara’s eyes. One hand slid into the narrow space between them, slick with his own juices. “As many as we can manage. Now, are you about ready to nut for me?”

Linkara shuddered as Spoony’s fingers added their own friction against him. “Getting close,” he agreed.

“You feel like you’re ready,” Spoony crooned. “Your skin feels amazing, Linkara, I just want you to know that. You feel fucking amazing, all of you. Next time, I think I might want you to fuck me, how does that sound?”

“I’d - ah! - I’d love to, oh, God - Spoony!” Linkara’s hands made knots of the sheets as his legs locked and his hips jittered; he made a noise between a yelp and a growl as he came, warm and wet and sticky in Spoony’s hand. His elbows buckled; he managed to halfway roll off of Spoony before he collapsed on top of him.

“Mmph.” Spoony scooted sideways, just enough to take the greater part of Linkara’s weight off of him, and settled Linkara’s head on his shoulder. “Yeah, we’re definitely going to have to do this again. How does a couple of hours from now sound?”

Linkara opened one eye and looked at the clock. “I have a panel I’m supposed to be at in two hours,” he mumbled. “Which means I should probably shower.”

“You’ve got a few minutes,” Spoony assured him.

“Good.” Linkara buried his face in the crook of Spoony’s neck. “Because this is really comfortable.”

“Well, it will be until one of our arms falls asleep again,” Spoony agreed. He closed his eyes and listened to the two of them breathing together.

(Linkara did make it to his panel on time, just barely. If he was a little red-faced and giddy, none of the other critics were quite rude enough to point it out. The Nostalgia Critic might have giggled a little, though.)


	4. Edge 4: Exploration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoony gets beamed to Linksano's lab on Comicron-1. After a brief discussion of hypertime and the nature of Spoony's position in the Spoony/Insano/Linkara triad, smut ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains frottage and random meta speculation about different ways dimensional variants work in the At4W-verse.

_A point may be the vertex of infinitely many angles, which may or may not be adjacent, or even coplanar._

The sound of the teleporter out in main engineering was almost unexpected enough to make Linksano jump. Almost.

He set down the gadget he was working on; the calibration for the beam width was way off, which meant he was going to have to disassemble it and re-polish the lens, anyway. Hurrying out of the lab, he called, “Are you all right, Linkara?”

“Your boss is fine,” an unexpected voice called back. “He and Insano just decided I’d be safer up here while they worked things out.”

Linksano managed to skid to a halt without tripping over anything or slamming into Spoony, who was standing much closer to the lab door than he’d expected. “Ah,” he said, not sure what to do with unexpected guests. “They decided three’s a crowd, did they?”

“Shit, I hope not,” Spoony answered, looking as if he hadn’t considered it. “Although we haven’t actually had any part of that conversation yet. Mostly because we keep getting distracted.”

Linksano was getting more confused by the minute. “I’m sorry?” he said, half-hoping that Spoony would take it as an apology, half-expecting that he’d explain.

“The real problem is that foreplay with those two seems to have to involve heavy weaponry,” Spoony continued. “They realized I was still home after they’d started shooting, and then Linkara cast a spell on the house and one of them bounced me up here. I’m not 100% sure which one it was.”

“That, I can find out,” Linksano replied, relieved to finally have gotten past the part that was making his ears burn red. “Nimue, what was the source of the teleporter signal that sent Spoony up here?”

“Information: the signal source was a projector in the basement of a house identified as Spoony’s domicile,” Nimue replied. “Since he is listed as a known ally, this unit did not identify him as an intruder; however, since the teleport was not initiated by Linkara, Pollo has been notified.”

“That implies that Insano knows exactly where the ship is at all times,” Linksano mused. “Then again, it’s sufficiently massive that tracking it shouldn’t be difficult.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you can track this thing visually if you have a good enough telescope,” Spoony chuckled. “Seriously, it’s huge, it’s decently reflective, and it’s got its own lights. There’s not a lot of stealth involved.”

“I suppose not,” Linksano agreed. “We haven’t figured out how to build a good cloaking device for it yet, at least one that doesn’t require that we get Vyce’s temporal shield system working again first. I’m not sure it’s even possible without draining too much power to keep the conventional shields up.”

Spoony’s eyebrows jumped. “But you think it might be?” he asked.

“Of course,” Linksano answered. “I have at least three potential methods listed. So far, though, even the prototypes have been huge energy sinks without the buffering effect of the temporal shields.”

He glanced away. Dealing with Spoony was difficult for him, at the best of times; he knew Linkara knew that, although he didn’t know whether his current employer understood why. Perhaps he’d forgotten. Perhaps he’d decided that it was time for Linksano to get over his issues. Or, most likely, he just didn’t care, and had let Insano send Spoony here just to get him out of the way while they blasted Insano’s lab to smithereens, or - whatever it was that Spoony had been alluding to.

Spoony was looking at the tall blue columns of energy that fed the ion conduits in the main engines, which put him in profile to Linksano. It was peculiar indeed that the multiverse tended to sort out genomes so similarly; one of these days, someone should write a dissertation on that. But the net effect here was that, in profile, all Spoony would have to do is grow out his hair, bleach it, and put on a touch of eye makeup, and he’d be a dead ringer for - for _her_. 

On the other hand, facing forward, both Spoony and Insano had a distinct resemblance to Linksano’s long-lost brother. It was disconcerting at the best of times, and maddening at the worst. At least Spoony didn’t _sound_ much like either of them; when Insano was excited and talking about science rather than world domination, even his speech patterns were hauntingly familiar. If Wayne had grown older -

“You okay?” Spoony asked, leaning into Linksano’s field of view.

“Fine, fine,” Linksano answered, taking a step back. “Just thinking about - hypertime, and the resonant frequencies of the ship. They’re different from both the native ones of this world and those of my own universe, of course.”

“I guess that would make cloaking it even harder,” Spoony said, not quite making it a question.

Linksano nodded. “It would be nice to have only one set of variables to worry about, instead or two or three. Anyway, if you just want to kick back and wait until their, ah, date is over, there’s a kitchenette with a couple of chairs about 120 degrees around main engineering. I think there are still some sodas in the fridge, although they might all be diet.”

“Yeah, I could use something to drink,” Spoony agreed, and ambled in the direction Linksano was pointing.

Linksano slunk back into the lab and began disassembling the lens frame on the beam weapon. His attention was only half-captured by the routine task; his memory kept drifting, back to _her_ and her disdainful gaze as he and Wayne offered her gift after gift from their lab. Sometimes she accepted them, then quietly disposed of them a day later; usually she refused from the start. Still, she’d never told them to get lost, even once she had a boyfriend, although some of her dates had insisted that they scram.

He didn’t know whether or not she’d survived Vyce’s invasion. He’d never gone back to check.

This time, the voice at the door did startle him enough to make him jump. “Yeah, they’re all diet,” Spoony said, “and they’re all store brand, too. At least I found one grape soda. Who restocks that thing?” He took a long sip from an open can.

“Usually ‘90s Kid,” Linksano answered, trying not to let on how rattled this invasion of his space was making him. “Sometimes Linkara. Did you need something?”

“Maybe,” Spoony replied vaguely. “Your lab’s a lot less messy than Insano’s is.”

“I have the cybermats to clean up,” Linksano pointed out, “and I don’t have a small protoplasmic child to get into things.”

“True,” Spoony agreed, “although he finally found a daycare center that would take his kid, at least part-time.” He took another swig from the soda. “Which suits me fine; I’ll do it if I have to, but I’m not all that great at babysitting. What are you working on?”

Linksano held up the lens assembly in one gloved hand. “Having some calibration issues with the beam on this ray gun,” he explained. “We were hoping it would be effective against some of the extradimensional forces we’ve faced lately, but so far it’s been too fragile for use in high-stress situations.” He glanced away, hoping that wasn’t too obvious under the goggles. Admitting his failures was difficult enough; admitting them to someone who wore a variation on Wayne’s face was excruciating.

Spoony nodded slowly and set the can down on one of the handrails near the door. “Hey, can I ask you kind of a personal question?” he asked, leaning against the low table in front of the lab bench.

“That depends entirely on what the question is,” Linksano replied, setting the lens back down again. The crystal looked fine, but the copper prongs holding it in place were clearly out of alignment. Perhaps the heat of the beam had warped them; if so, there were plenty of ways of solving that, all of which would add considerably to the weight of the weapon. Undesirable, but perhaps unavoidable.

“What, exactly, is the deal with you and Linkara?” Spoony raised both eyebrows as he asked the question, then returned his gaze to the soda can.

Linksano rolled his lip between his teeth. That was a complicated question. “At the moment, he’s my employer,” he replied, drawing out the words and watching Spoony for a reaction. “In exchange for room, board, and access to the facilities of the ship - including a lab significantly more advanced than anything your world has to offer, with the possible exception of your basement - I act as his scientific advisor, create gadgets for him to use that don’t require his magic to work, help him with some of the gadgets that _do_ require his magic for their functions, and supervise the parts of the maintenance of the ship that Nimue and Pollo can’t handle on their own.” 

Whatever Spoony had wanted to hear, that clearly hadn’t been it; he was scowling in what might have been either confusion or distaste. 

“If you’re concerned about him working with a former villain of his, let me remind you that you’re doing much the same, and that Insano has a much better record of actually causing you harm than I do for Linkara,” Linksano added.

“That’s true,” Spoony admitted with a shrug, “but it’s also kind of complicated. Let me try the question again. Are you an alternate universe version of Linkara, or a clone, or what?”

“Certainly not a clone,” Linksano sputtered, and he saw Spoony relax just a trifle. “Whether he and I are alternate universe versions of each other is - well, it’s a very complex question, and I’m not sure even I understand hypertime well enough to answer it completely.” He ran a hand through his hair and pondered which of several possible tacks to take. “The short answer is, eh, sort of. He and I are astonishingly genetically similar for two people who are in point of fact not technically related at all, but we’re far from identical; there are some trivial but easily detectable differences in mammalian biology between this world and mine, and while to some extent I’ve adapted to this one, those differences still clearly mark me as alien to anyone with sufficiently advanced microbiology knowledge and a few basic lab tests. There are a few other differences, too; I’m losing my hair marginally faster, for one thing. On the other hand, I’ve had the opportunity to analyze genetic samples from Linkara’s mirror-world double and from, uh, from Mechakara’s creator. They _are_ genetically identical to Linkara. Moreover, as far as we can tell, they also share his legal name and at least some key aspects of his personal history; I don’t.” He stopped his rambling, but the next thing he would have said rang in his head: _Like him, I have one brother, older than me, but they don’t look anything alike at all._

“Huh,” Spoony said, staring through Linksano as if he were trying to absorb the infodump. “Yeah, okay. So not so much another version as, like, a hypertime echo.”

“That begs the question of which of us is the original, and which is the echo,” Linksano noted, “but effectively, yes.” He switched off the light on the scanning magnifier; clearly this conversation was going to take longer than he’d thought. “Why do you ask?”

Spoony rubbed one hand down his face. “Well, Insano’s relationship to me keeps changing, and while he claims that’s the plot hole’s fault, I’m not so sure,” he said. “There are video records that imply we’re two split personalities of the same person, but there are also more video records that demonstrate pretty clearly that we’re not, and he and I interact all the time, which shouldn’t be possible if we were. At one point, there were several clones of me, and the current Doctor Insano might be one of those clones. Or, he might be someone else entirely who just happens to look kind of like me.” He retrieved the soda and took another swallow. “And I’m not sure which one of those to believe, or if hypertime is so fucked up around him that more than one explanation really is true. I was sort of hoping the same analogy would hold, but it sounds like your relationship to Linkara is more stable.”

“I’m afraid so.” Linksano felt his stomach lurch. Perhaps there was an analogy, but not to Insano. Perhaps it was to - _her_. There was nothing about the genetic differences between himself and Linkara that would preclude a change from an X chromosome to a Y, or a change in hair color, especially since he suspected _she_ highlighted her hair artificially, anyway.

He felt his hands trembling as he picked up a pair of tweezers. “Well, this certainly has been an enlightening conversation,” he said breezily, “but I really should be getting back to work. If you need anything from the break room, just help yourself.”

“If it’s okay,” Spoony said, glancing around the room, “I think I’d rather stick around here. I don’t want to get lost and accidentally wander into a reactor core or something.”

“That shouldn’t be possible,” Linksano sighed. “You don’t have the correct permissions to get into anywhere dangerous, unless Linkara gave them to you while I wasn’t looking. But, sure. I can’t offer you a seat because there isn’t an extra one in here, but feel free to lean on the railing.” He pointed a micro-camera at the lens assembly and directed the video feed to the monitor screen behind him.

The changes in the crystalline structure of the copper were certainly consistent with partial melting. Unfortunately, magnetic materials like steel would deflect or even absorb the energy beam, and while aluminum would withstand the heat, its rate of expansion was sufficiently different from the lens’s that it would slip out of alignment just as badly, if not worse. Iridium or palladium might work, but those were a bit out of his budget for this project. His best bet would probably be to try either brass or bronze, although both might be too fragile for this application.

As he scribbled some illegible notes on a datapad, Linksano felt something nudge his left shoulder. “What’re you doing?” Spoony asked, so close his breath warmed Linksano’s ear.

Linksano managed not to jump, scream, or elbow Spoony in the solar plexus, although he did yelp and lose his grip on the stylus; it flew off somewhere in the direction of the chemical supply cabinet.

“Whoops,” Spoony said with a chuckle as he laid a hand on Linksano’s shoulder to steady him. “Sorry.” He didn’t sound the least bit apologetic.

Linksano took a deep breath and re-adjusted his goggles. “Why did you do that?” he whined, then caught himself and shut his mouth with a snap. If Spoony was trying to catch him off-guard, he had succeeded, and complaining wouldn’t change that.

“Got bored,” Spoony answered. “You’ve been staring at that monitor and mumbling for twenty minutes. I figured I’d at least ask what you were working so hard on.” He was standing just inches behind Linksano, leaving no room to maneuver between his torso and the lab bench.

“It - it’s a simple beam weapon,” Linksano stammered. “I told you already.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Spoony said, and the vibrations tickling Linksano’s ear made him shiver. “But why is it so important right now?”

“If you feel like I’m being a bad host,” Linksano grumbled, “you could just say so. Remember, I didn’t invite you up here.” He contemplated trying to pull away from the hand on his shoulder, but some part of him was enjoying being touched. It was a rare sensation for him.

He inhaled, and suddenly a flood of half-formed memories flooded him; pep rallies and long giggling lab sessions flashed before his eyes. “What are you wearing?” he gasped, whirling in place to face Spoony.

Spoony raised an eyebrow. “A black t-shirt and jeans,” he said slowly.

“No,” Linksano protested, “I mean your cologne. It - I -” He stumbled over his words, stopped, and sniffed. “Cedarwood, some resinous note I can’t identify, vetiver, and I’m guessing that’s what this universe uses for lily of the valley?”

“I have no idea,” Spoony admitted. “It’s whatever aftershave Insano’s kid gave me for Christmas. I didn’t even read the label.”

Linksano’s head was buzzing. The lily of the valley, or something reasonably close to it, and an incense-y note were from the perfume _she_ wore through most of high school, graced by some citrus notes. The cedar and vetiver were from the body spray he and Wayne had mixed up in their basement lab, although they’d also added hints of mint and bay leaf. The net effect was a wave of crippling nostalgia and loneliness, with a light sprinkling of unrequited yearning. He suppressed a sob, only partly successfully.

Now Spoony had hands on both his shoulders. “Hey,” he said, much more quietly, “are you okay?”

“If I say I am, you won’t believe me,” Linksano muttered.

“Not a chance,” Spoony agreed, “but it lets me know whether you trust me enough to try and help.”

“I barely know you,” Linksano complained, but somehow his hands ended up on Spoony’s arms. “I know Linkara trusts you, but I’m not sure I - wait, you implied that Linkara and Insano are sleeping together earlier.”

Spoony laughed, tossing his head, which in turn did interesting things to his hair. “Did I imply that? Let me state it outright, then. They beamed me out of my own fucking house so they could bump uglies.”

“And you also implied that you were interested in joining them?” Linksano said, making it a question.

“Well, yeah,” Spoony replied. “I mean, I don’t see any reason not to - wait, is this going to be a monogamy lecture, or has Linkara just not told anyone his business again?”

“Very much the latter,” Linksano said. Imagining Linkara and Insano locked in the throes of violent passion was producing some interesting physiological and psychological reactions; he could hardly blame anyone else for reacting the same.

“Okay, well, he didn’t ask me not to tell anyone, so I’m going to assume he’s not going to pitch a fit if I do,” Spoony thought out loud. His gaze returned to Linksano, and he tightened his grip slightly. “Insano and I have been sleeping together for a while, and Linkara and I have a couple of times, enough for it to be an ongoing thing instead of a one-night stand. I think.”

Linksano nodded. “A V-relationship with Insano at the hinge, closed into a triad,” he filled in. “I understand.”

“Neither of them have asked me to close it,” Spoony noted. “As a matter of fact, you’ve just said more about the structure of the thing than any of us have, unless they’re having a similar conversation, which I seriously doubt.”

“Do they both know about your relationships with each other?” Linksano asked. “I can’t imagine Linkara would withhold that information, but Insano might if he thought disclosing it would be detrimental.”

“Yeah, I’ve told them both,” Spoony assured him.

Linksano shrugged; it was a little difficult, given that he and Spoony were still holding on to each other. He wasn’t sure why, but he was reluctant to let go yet. “Well, that sounds like a minor communications issue, then,” he concluded. “Just tell them when they beam you back that removing you isn’t necessary, and that you’d be interested in exploring the whole triad together. Linkara might be embarrassed, but I can’t imagine him being offended, and it seems like the sort of thing Insano would be into.”

“Oh, sure, I intend to,” Spoony said, grinning like a shark. “But that’s not why I’m telling you all this.”

Linksano tried to draw back and failed. “Then why -?” he started, and was interrupted by Spoony’s mouth on his.

With the possible exception of the stubble, it was everything he’d ever imagined kissing _her_ would be, and more.

Linksano all but melted into Spoony’s grasp. The distance between them vanished like a wrinkle in space-time, and Spoony’s arms slid down the back of Linksano’s coat to his waist, pulling him in tight.

When they pulled apart, Spoony still had the shark’s grin, but his eyes were sparkling. “Wow, that was easier than I expected,” he said, licking his bottom lip. “Been awhile?”

“You could say that,” Linksano mumbled, hoping the goggles hid the flicker of shame in his eyes.

“So I figured, if Linkara is going to have fun with my mad scientist, I might as well see if I can do the same with his,” Spoony explained, as his hands left Linksano’s back and darted into the long grey trenchcoat, settling on his hips. “I mean, if you’re into it. No pressure if you’re not.”

Linksano wet his lips. Every fiber of his body and soul was aching to arch into Spoony’s touch, to dissolve under his ministrations and melt away - but how much of that was just his ancient longing for _her_? It wasn’t fair to Spoony to put all that on him, was it? 

“I’m definitely amenable to the idea,” he said slowly, “but there are two things you should know first: one, I am not at all good at one-night stands, and two, I’ve never made love to a man before.” That last was technically not a lie, just an omission by extraneous detail; Linksano was painfully aware of his utter lack of any sexual experience that did not involve either a gadget of his own invention or a holodeck.

Spoony’s grin softened from shark to fox. “No need to consider it a one-night stand,” he murmured, toying with the lapels of the trenchcoat. “I am perfectly happy to collect as many long-term fuckbuddies as I can get my greedy hands on. And don’t worry about the second one; it’s not really that different.” He put his hands on Linksano’s shoulders and turned the pair of them 180 degrees, walking Linksano backwards one, two, three, four, five steps, until the scientist was pressed between him and the mezzanine wall of the lab.

Linksano stripped off his gloves with trembling fingers and tossed them over the railing. He was shaking, now, irrepressible tremors through his whole body as Spoony lowered his head and kissed his neck. “Touch me,” he whispered into the dark, tousled hair. “Please.”

“Now, that’s what I like to hear,” Spoony chuckled into the crook of Linksano’s neck. The trenchcoat slid from Linksano’s shoulders and dropped to the floor in a heap; Spoony nudged it aside with one foot as he reached for Linksano’s wrists and brought the scientist’s arms to his own placket. “Here,” Spoony murmured, “make it easy for me.”

Linksano had never unbuttoned a shirt so fast. He was rewarded with Spoony’s fingers dancing down his ribs, almost but not quite tickling as they traced cool fire across his skin. He reached for Spoony’s shoulders, his neck, trying to caress and hold on, trying to assure himself that this was actually happening, this wasn’t a dream, he wasn’t in the holodeck -

But it wasn’t, he wasn’t. Linksano ran his hands through Spoony’s hair, darker than _hers_ and shorter, although not by as much as one might think. This was real, this was real, this was real. He drew Spoony in for a kiss, slow and soft and sweet, and tried to memorize the feel of those lips on his.

Spoony’s hands were at his waist. “I’d really like to grab your ass,” Spoony whispered. “How does that sound?”

“Just touch me,” Linksano begged. “Anyw-where you want.” He fumbled with his fly and kicked his trousers aside to meet his coat.

True to his word, Spoony reached around and cupped him, working the gluteal muscles under his fingers. “You feel good,” he whispered into Linksano’s ear, “so nice, calm down, I’ve got you.”

“I genuinely d-don’t know if I can calm down,” Linksano replied helplessly. “I’m trying.”

“Hmm, maybe if I pin you down,” Spoony mused. He caught one of Linksano’s flailing hands and guided it to his own fly.

Even Linksano understood a hint when it was that broad. Greedily, he unbuttoned Spoony’s jeans and reached into his briefs; Spoony stiffened in every possible way.

After a couple of strokes, Linksano started to sink to his knees, but Spoony caught him before he could make it to the floor. “If it’s okay,” Spoony mumured in his ear, “I’d like to do something with a little more body contact. Do you have a condom around?”

“No,” Linksano mumbled, “I haven’t had a reason to keep them on hand.” He was already blushing, but he could feel himself getting even redder at the admission.

“Might be rushing things a little, anyway, to fuck you on the first date,” Spoony said, shrugging. “No matter how tempting that ass is. Spread your legs a little.” He fished around in his pockets and came up with an unmarked squeeze bottle filled with something pale green and nearly transparent. Handing it to Linksano, he ordered, “Grease me up a bit.”

Linksano flipped the top open and spurted a glob into his palm. It smelled faintly of cucumber, and fluoresced just slightly in the cold blue lights of the lab. He rubbed a drop between his fingers; it was slick without feeling greasy or sticky. “Is Insano making his own lube?” he asked, before turning his attention to Spoony’s erection.

Spoony hissed between his teeth as Linksano coated him with the stuff. “Yeah, he is,” he said as he got his breath back. “If he can figure out how to get it not to glow in the dark, he’s going to patent this one; it doesn’t dry out, but you can still wash it off. Unh, do that with your thumbs again.”

“Certainly.” Linksano repeated the motion, making sure every square centimeter of Spoony’s phallus was thoroughly lubricated. “What else do you want me to do?”

“Lift your balls up a couple inches,” Spoony ordered, bending his knees slightly.

Linksano did as requested, using the slicked-up hand. Spoony grinned at him again, pinned Linksano’s shoulder against the wall behind him with his right hand, and slid his dick into the tight space between Linksano’s thighs.

“Ah,” Linksano said, suddenly understanding. “Greek-style.”

Spoony chuckled at him as he started thrusting. “That’s not what that means here, although I’m not sure if that’s a regional thing or a difference between dimensions,” he murmured. “How does this feel for you?”

Linksano closed his eyes behind the goggles and tried to observe what his body was doing clinically. With the lubrication, the friction from what Spoony was doing was reasonably pleasant, and the pressure of his own rampant erection against Spoony’s abdomen was producing little showers of very pleasurable sensations on each thrust. “I don’t think I’m - ah! - going to be getting off,” he noted, “but please continue; I’m very much - umph - enjoying it.”

“Good,” Spoony crooned, and shifted his weight. Now he was pressing on the spot just behind Linksano’s balls with each movement, and that was producing some interesting sensations indeed. Suddenly, being bent over the lab bench and fucked sounded peculiarly appealing.

He replied by squeezing his thighs together. “A little faster?” he begged.

“Make some noise for me,” Spoony mumured back.

Linksano clutched at Spoony’s shoulders and moaned enthusiastically. This was like no scenario he’d ever daydreamed; it was better. And because it was like nothing he could have made up for himself, it was doubly real. No hologram scenario he programmed would ever have looked remotely like this.

Spoony tugged at Linksano’s hips and grunted. Linksano moaned louder, trying to thrust with him, although he was in an awkward position for it. As Spoony’s eyes started to glaze over, Linksano brushed the hair back from them and whispered, “Come for me.”

Spoony growled; his eyes rolled back and closed tight as fresh warmth spurted between Linksano’s legs. For a moment, Linksano held them both up as Spoony’s knees buckled.

“Caught me by surprise,” Spoony chuckled against Linksano’s shoulder. He let go and folded gracelessly to the floor.

Linksano jolted upright as Spoony’s lips closed messily around his erection. A well-trained tongue slithered around his sensitive spots as a drop of saliva joined the fluids already dripping down Linksano’s legs. His hands flailed for purchase against the wall before settling again in Spoony’s hair, now damp with sweat.

“Oh, _please_ ,” he groaned. This wasn’t going to take long.

Spoony glanced upwards, grinned, and began bobbing his head. Not long at all.

The noise that bubbled out of Linksano’s throat started out as a siren-like wail and ended at a full-bodied scream, his eyes wide open behind the goggles as he came so hard he nearly whited out. He lost his balance; fortunately, he had no room to topple backwards and merely slid down the wall instead, somehow managing to land in front of Spoony instead of on top of him.

Spoony was laughing again. “Fucking really?” he asked. “How long has it been?”

“Far too long,” Linksano managed to choke out. “I’m sorry, I should have given you more warning.”

“Nah, I was planning on swallowing anyway,” Spoony assured him. He shifted from kneeling to cross-legged and propped Linksano up between himself and the wall. “I kind of wish I could have seen your eyes for that,” he said. “I mean, I’ve seen people come hard before, but holy fuck, literally.”

Linksano couldn’t think of anything to say, and wasn’t sure he could shout over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears. “Thank you,” was what he finally pushed into words.

“Any time,” Spoony replied, retrieving Linksano’s trenchcoat and tugging it over them like a blanket.

Linksano settled his head into the crook of Spoony’s shoulder. Suddenly, he was unbearably drowsy; it had been so long since he’d had a proper orgasm, he’d forgotten that was one of the side effects. “Soon, I hope?” he whispered.

“Sounds good to me,” Spoony murmured back.

When Linksano opened his eyes again, he was lying on the lab floor with his trenchcoat over him and his pants rolled up under his head for a pillow, wearing only his shirt and goggles. His shoes were under the lab bench; his socks were nowhere in sight.

For a moment, he wondered if he’d hallucinated the whole thing. No, his legs were still sticky. He wrapped the trenchcoat around himself and pushed himself to his feet.

A scrap of notebook paper was stuck under the datapad. _Call me. Nimue has my number._


	5. Edge 5: Correlation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insano arrives at the apartment looking for a fun time with Linkara, and finds Linksano instead. Schlumper-angst and smut ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This relationship is not incest only on a technicality and both characters are explicitly aware of that, so content warning if that's a squick.

_If two adjacent angles are congruent, then the shared side is an angle bisector._

Insano dialed up the power level on the gravity boots and kicked the door squarely in its geometric center. It exploded into splinters in a profoundly gratifying manner. Grinning broadly, he stomped through the now-empty doorframe and called out, “Once again, Linkara, we discover that nothing you can put up will protect you from me!”

“He’s not home,” a bored voice replied. “Sorry to short-circuit your booty call, or whatever.”

“What?” Insano surveyed his nemesis’s living room. Cardboard and packing peanuts were strewn everywhere; in the middle of the mess of packaging, another pair of goggles stared at him over the back of the sofa. Behind him, the door was silently reconstituting itself a sliver at a time, no doubt the result of one of Linkara’s protective spells.

Insano booted a pair of banker’s boxes out of the way, flattening them instantly, and changed through the mess. “Where is he?” he demanded. “What have you and your miserable excuse for a scientific method done with him?”

“Oh, relax,” Linksano groaned, half-slipping behind an avalanche of bubble wrap. “Angry Joe had something ding one of his exterior antennae, and Linkara and Pollo took the scout ship to go check it out. I’m pretty sure it was just a micrometeor, but you know Linkara; he wanted to make sure his friend wasn’t in any danger.” He paused to stuff a handful of loose plastic film into a trash bag. “Did you schedule this with him in advance, or were you planning on surprising him?”

“The latter,” Insano said slowly. “Scheduling in advance is difficult; either I have to find a babysitter, or I have to take advantage of the evenings Spoony’s free.” He stooped to pick up the two boxes he’d crushed. “What is going on in here?”

“Some fool retired to live in a motorhome and sent Linkara his entire comic collection,” Linksano explained, his voice high and pinched. “It was something like twenty-six longboxes’ worth, although of course it wasn’t packaged in anything nearly that convenient. We’d just sorted through what was worth keeping, what was worth reselling, and what was simply trash when the call came in from the satellite.” He wadded up a sheet of bubble wrap and jammed it into the bag. “I figured I’d stay here in case we got any further meteor warnings from the ship, and try to get started with the clean-up.”

Insano watched him bag up several more layers of plastic. With a sigh, he folded the two smashed boxes until they’d fit alongside the rest of the recycling. “Here,” he grumbled, “you can get these out of the way. Why in the name of Science did you relegate yourself to trash duty? Don’t you have the little rat-robots for that?”

Linksano stuffed the remains of the boxes into the bag and tied it off. “I don’t entirely trust the cybermats to be able to tell packing material that needs to be discarded from the cards and bags we need to keep the comics in good condition,” he admitted. “I’d have to supervise, anyway. I might as well do it myself.”

“Figures, with your abysmal programming skills,” Insano scoffed. He shoved a stack of comics to the edge of the sofa and plopped himself down, dangling one arm over the back. “What about the other mush-for-brains mooks Linkara keeps around?”

The insult had struck home; Linksano visibly bristled as he answered, “Harvey’s on tour and won’t be in town until a week from Tuesday. ‘90s Kid said he was seeing a movie and wouldn’t be back until late. I haven’t seen the ninja in days. The clown takes the weekends off. Anyone else you wanted to spy on?” He dug an unfolded longbox from behind the dining room table and began turning down the flaps.

“Not really, no.” Insano scooted over on the sofa and looked his counterpart up and down; Linksano was so tense he was practically vibrating. “Any idea when Linkara will be back?” he asked, deliberately pitching his voice slightly lower.

“Assuming they don’t have to do any physical repairs on the satellite, but they do a full sensor calibration and sweep, it’ll be at least an hour and a half,” Linksano replied, pressing the corners of the longbox into shape and setting it on the table. “If they have to patch anything, physically or code-wise, then longer.” He swept up the stack of comics from the sofa and dropped them into box. “And he’ll have to sort through these again,” he added. “I don’t remember which ones in this stack needed to be carded and bagged, and which ones we were going to sell loose.”

Insano nodded, then patted the sofa cushion next to him. “You’re twitching around the shoulders,” he observed. “You must be tired.”

Linksano regarded him quizzically. “Why would you care?” he wondered aloud, as he darted around the arm of the sofa and dropped obediently onto the indicated cushion.

“I didn’t say I cared, did I?” Insano shrugged. “Just a scientific observation, that’s all.” His hands flexed and unfolded in his lap like birds’ wings. That was an interesting reaction on his part, and perhaps an impulse worth investigating.

Linksano shifted his shoulders awkwardly. “Well, it’s an accurate one, then,” he admitted. “Although I think the embarrassment of unexpectedly dealing with someone who’s sleeping with my boss, and not really knowing whether I’m supposed to know that in the first place, is adding to the stress.”

Insano laughed, high and sharp. Linksano must have been visualizing him and Linkara naked together this whole time. “I don’t care whether you know or not,” he giggled. “Besides, you’re sleeping with my landlord, so there’s leverage on both ends.”

“Am I?” Linksano sighed. “I’m not sure two fun evenings stacks up to - to whatever you and -” He broke off and waved one gloved hand vaguely towards Linkara’s study.

“Mmm,” Insano mused. “Turn all the way around, and take the coat off. All that weight isn’t doing your trapezials any good. Why did you decide on a trench instead of a proper lab coat?” His hands opened, reaching out despite himself.

“Originally, it was for protection against the elements when I was dimension-hopping; now, it’s because the climate control on the ship runs to the chilly, and the waterproofing is better,” Linksano replied, shrugging off the coat as ordered. He didn’t even glance back at Insano as he continued, “And it felt less like I was trying to be - someone I’m not.”

“Me, you mean,” Insano chided. His fingers found the tops of Linksano’s shoulders before he’d realized he’d moved, working down tendons that felt like copper cables. He found a knot, probed it, pressed it, and released it. Yes, this was curiously satisfying, and familiar in a way he hadn’t expected, but perhaps he should have. He kicked off the gravity boots and dangled his toes in the carpet as he worked.

“Not exactly,” Linksano murmured, slumping in place.

Insano’s hands danced down Linksano’s back and up again, pressing in small circles against thin black cloth and the trembling skin underneath. He waited until his fingers had worked their way back up to the base of his counterpart’s skull, where it met the spine. Leaning forward, he whispered, “Wayne, then.”

“Yes.” Linksano shuddered under his touch. “Among - others.”

“Ah.” Well, that was worth gathering more data on. Insano edged closer, kneeling on the sofa cushions; one hand drifted down Linksano’s spine as the other crept around one arm. “I see,” he crooned. “Have you been missing him?”

“Don’t play with me,” Linksano whimpered. “You have to know I always do. Do you?”

The direct question stung far more than Insano had expected; suddenly, there was a hint of salt in his eyes. “More than I’d admit to anyone, even Oscar,” he murmured. On impulse, he pressed his nose into Linksano’s hair and inhaled deeply. “So curious,” he continued. “I can smell him on you, but not just him, you know.” Oh, yes. He was doing this. The other scientist was going down, one way or another.

Linksano convulsed slightly, as if he were suppressing a sob.

Insano breathed heavily again, then wrapped his arms around Linksano, crossing his wrists in front of his counterpart’s chest. “A little of my Oscar,” he half-chanted, “and a little of Linkara, and something that’s you, all you.” It wasn’t a lie; Linksano’s scent was firing neurons Insano hadn’t used in years.

Linksano’s hands closed on Insano’s wrists, but he made no moves to pull his arms away. “Why are you doing this?” he asked plaintively.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Insano asked, his lips curled in a grin as they grazed Linksano’s ear. Surely he didn’t need to be perfectly explicit here, did he? Linksano was no match for his genius, but the other scientist wasn’t stupid, even where interpersonal relationships were concerned.

“No, it isn’t,” Linksano replied, and this time the sob was audible as a hitch in his voice. “I’ve thought of at least seven hypotheses, and I don’t know how to test any of them.”

Chuckling, Insano licked Linksano’s ear from lobe to hairline. “I want you, Linksano,” he said, slightly surprised at the thickness in his own voice as he said it. “I intend to have you.”

“Collecting the set?” Somehow Linksano had managed to gather together enough wit to sound disinterested for a moment. Fortunately, his body was less disciplined than his voice; he was warm, and still shaking slightly.

“I’d say I’m just gathering data,” Insano purred, “but - no. Are you familiar with the studies of siblings who are separated at birth and then re-united as adults?”

“They have a significantly greater-than-average chance of becoming infatuated with each other,” Linksano replied. “But we’re not really -”

“Which means it’s significantly less socially verboten, don’t you think?” Insano interrupted. “I mean, we’re not related at all, technically.” He slid one finger up the placket of Linksano’s shirt and undid the top button. “Can you think of a reason we shouldn’t be doing this?” he finished.

Linksano leaned back into Insano’s arms. “No,” he admitted.

It was clearly a surrender.

Not good enough. Insano nipped at Linksano’s earlobe, undid another button, and whispered, “Do you want me to?”

Linksano reached back and ran a hand through Insano’s hair. “Yes,” he said, quietly but oh, so clearly.

Suppressing a cackle, Insano slipped the rest of the buttons free and slid one hand between the thin fabric and Linksano’s skin. “Louder,” he insisted.

“Yes, damn you,” Linksano gasped, “yes, I want your hands on me, yes.” The tiny wrinkles next to his goggles announced that his eyes were shut tight behind the lenses.

“Just my hands?” Insano asked, tweaking a nipple between finger and thumb. “Ah, Spoony caught himself a coy boy; no fucking on the first date?”

Linksano shivered and gritted his teeth. “I-” he started, then groaned as Insano slipped another hand beneath his shirt.

“Don’t worry,” Insano cooed, “I’m more interested in getting a second date than I am wringing everything out of you right away.” He paused to nibble at the salt-sweet skin of Linksano’s neck. “If you’re too shy today, then I’ll just astonish you with how much fun touching can be.”

“You and Spoony are more alike than I’d thought,” Linksano replied, shifting his weight back onto his heels. Shaking or not, he still sounded remarkably calm.

“Really?” Insano sat back for a moment, absorbing both the comment and the subtle alteration in Linksano’s demeanor. “Hmm. Is this how he seduced you?”

Linksano glanced over his shoulder, just enough to half-face Insano. “Not exactly,” he explained, “but I have to say, the similarities are startling.” He reached back, one hand toying with the collar on Insano’s scrubs. “You’re both extremely tactile, and you both used the whispering-in-my-ear trick. That’s not to say there aren’t significant differences, of course.”

“Interesting!” Insano replied. “Thank you for the extra data points; I can use that.” Why hadn’t Linkara ever mentioned that? Insano shook the question off and refocused on the task at hand. “Shall I assume from you tugging at my shirt that I’ve convinced you this is a good idea and commence with getting our clothes off?” he asked, trying to push his voice back into a lower register and not being entirely successful.

“Oh, I don’t think this is anything close to a good idea,” Linksano answered with a sad smile as he shifted halfway around and divested Insano of his lab coat. “However, at the moment, I don’t care.” He brushed Insano’s hair back, then trailed his fingers down the other scientist’s narrow chin. “I’ve spent entirely too much of my life yearning after things I can’t have,” he finished. “I’m more interested in breaking that one destructive habit than I am concerned about the new ones I may be picking up.”

Insano leaned into the touch before he realized he was doing so. “Let me at least make it worth your time, then,” he cooed, slipping the black shirt from Linksano’s shoulders.

“By all means,” Linksano sighed, relaxing back into Insano’s grip and turning to face away again.

Insano took advantage of the interruption to slip out of his scrub top before wrapping his arms around Linksano, spooning up behind him and settling his chin in the crook of Linksano’s shoulder. For all his boldness, Linksano was still trembling. Insano gave him a reassuring squeeze - at least, he intended it to be reassuring. “Breathe, you silly scientist,” he chided.

“Easier said than done,” Linksano replied, settling his hands on Insano’s knees. “Just - keep going, please?”

Insano eased one hand down and unbuttoned Linksano’s trousers. “Of course,” he crooned, as his other hand traced his counterpart’s collarbone and then drifted back to dance along his shoulder blades. He took a deep breath of his own, letting it gust against the back of Linksano’s neck, then another.

Linksano’s grip tightened on Insano’s legs. A small whimper curled up from deep in his throat.

“It’s okay, Oscar,” Insano whispered. “You’re safe.” The words seemed to bubble up from somewhere terribly far away, to echo from a room long forgotten.

“Please, Wayne,” Linksano keened. “Please.”

Insano slipped one hand into Linksano’s boxers and groped through soft fuzz. He was slung a little lower than Linkara; that was an interesting difference, though whether that was random hypertime variation or something else remained to be seen. Insano curled his hand around Linksano’s rapidly hardening dick and caressed him gently before starting work in earnest.

Linksano’s back arched against Insano’s chest. “Science, yes,” he hissed.

Chuckling against the back of Linksano’s neck, Insano stroked him slowly and deliberately, varying the pressure and gauging his reactions. Linksano gasped and groaned no matter what he did, but there was just enough variation in his moans to find the most sensitive spots. Oddly, they seemed to be only a 50% match with Linkara’s. That was peculiar.

Insano shifted his grip slightly and rolled two fingertips against that spot at the base of the shaft. Linksano quivered and yelped. Forcing himself to keep it slow, Insano ran through the same strokes and massages he used on Spoony - or on himself.

Again, about a 50% match. Amazing. Insano made a mental note to revise his theories on what kind of hypertime variation had created his counterpart, then turned his attention back to more simple inputs. Linksano had smelled amazing to begin with, but now that lust had overcome his reticence (and maybe jealousy), the musk of his skin was enough to drive a sane man wild. Good thing Insano was already mad.

Keeping his deliberate pace steady, Insano tightened his grip on Linksano with both hands. He raised his head just a couple of inches and breathed into Linksano’s ear, “Relax, Oscar. I’ve got you.”

“You do,” Linksano agreed. “Please, Wayne, more.”

“Faster or harder?” Insano asked. The hand that wasn’t busy flattened against Linksano’s chest, pushing him back until there was no space between them.

Linksano groaned and shifted his shoulder blades against Insano’s chest. “Both,” he gasped. “Wayne, I need you so much.”

“And I’ve missed you so much, Oscar,” Insano gasped, “So much, you can’t even imagine.” He picked up the pace, gently accelerating as he tightened his grip. “How does it feel?”

“So good,” moaned Linksano, “you feel amazing, please don’t stop.”

“Never,” Insano crooned, “I never want to let you go again.” The temperature of the room seemed to be rising precipitously.

Linksano’s grip on Insano’s knees turned into claws, nails pressing half-moons into the flesh. “I’m getting close,” he murmured. A drop of saltwater trickled from under his lenses; whether it was sweat or tears, who could say?

Insano nipped at Linksano’s earlobe. “Good,” he whispered. “Tell me what it feels like, Oscar. Tell me everything.”

“It feels so good,” Linksano babbled. “So good, you’re holding me and you’re touching me and I feel - I feel -” he swallowed loudly - “ _safe_.” He shuddered; his fingers on Insano’s legs became a vice.

“Always, yes.” Insano suddenly became aware of exactly how hard he was as something fluttered in his abdomen. “Yes, you’re safe,” he promised, as he tightened his grip yet again. “Come for me, Oscar.”

With a growl, Linksano obeyed; his dick all but leaped in Insano’s hand, throbbing in time with Insano’s strokes. Insano slowed but didn’t stop, massaging every last drop of jizz from Linksano’s softening cock.

As Linksano’s breathing slowed, he let go of his death-grip on Insano’s knees. “Thank you,” he gulped, finally turning around to face Insano directly.

“Any time,” Insano replied. He tugged the lab coat from where it had landed on the other arm of the sofa and wiped his sticky hand with a sleeve. Had he just told someone, never mind a rival, that they were safe with him? What did that even mean?

Linksano rolled his lower lip under his teeth, then smiled, almost shyly, and climbed halfway into Insano’s lap. “Shall I?” he asked, gesturing at the obvious lump in Insano’s scrubs.

“By all means,” Insano agreed, leaning back and loosely tucking his ankles behind Linksano’s waist.

Linksano tugged down the elastic and giggled. “Going commando today?” he snickered. “Well, I suppose if you thought you were going to be drilling Linkara in the hall closet or something.” His fingers slithered down Insano’s cock, running quick traces from glans to root.

He was doing the same testing Insano had earlier. Oh, clever Oscar! And because he’d already been with Spoony, he found all the right nerves right away. Insano knew he’d made the right decision.

Insano allowed himself a frisson of sheer pleasure and a gasp, then forced his voice into something resembling its usual register. “I was actually hoping to nail him on his own futon,” he confessed, “but I think I might actually be enjoying this conquest even more.”

“Conquest?” Linksano laughed outright as he crept forward, planting his knees on either side of Insano’s hips. “Well, if that’s what you think this is, so be it.” He curled his fingers around Insano and started to work him, massaging more than stroking.

Insano closed his eyes behind the goggles and let the sensation overwhelm him. Linksano was starting slow, almost so slow as to be painful, but his touch was focused like a laser on just the right spots, in a perfect rhythm. He was using both hands, too, which struck Insano as a little strange, but he certainly couldn’t argue with the results.

“Mmm,” Linksano hummed in his ear. “Talk to me, Wayne.”

Insano arched his back and slid his arms around Linksano again, his hands clasping behind Linksano’s shoulder blades. So warm, Linksano was so warm. “What is there to say?” he gasped. “This feels delightful, Oscar. You’ve obviously studied the template well.”

“You might mention to the ‘template’ that I’ve been waiting two days for him to text me back,” Oscar snorted.

“I’ll be sure to punish him appropriately,” Insano promised. “Just do that thing with your left hand on my balls again.”

“This?” Oscar repeated the maneuver at half-speed, sending shivers up Insano’s spine.

“Yes,” Insano gurgled, “yes, that, do _that_ again, Oscar, oh, Science!” A tremor ran through his legs, and he found himself trying to press himself into Oscar’s body again.

“What else would you like me to do?” Oscar asked, his lips still hovering just above Insano’s ear.

Insano - Wayne - let out a shuddering breath. “Kiss me,” he pleaded.

Immediately, Oscar’s lips were on his, thick and wet and just slightly too hesitant to be commanding. Wayne opened his mouth under Oscar’s, drawing him down, inward, deeper. As their tongues met, as their lips slid across each other, hunting, hungry, Wayne bucked under Oscar’s hands, slow fire burning in at the base of his spine.

“I don’t want this to be over yet,” Wayne begged, as Oscar’s strokes sped up. 

“It’s not going to be,” Oscar assured him as he kissed him again, deep and long. “It’s never going to be over, not now that I’ve found you again.” His hand slipped over the glans and rolled back down over that one sweet spot, then doubled back. “Because I’m never letting you go again, Wayne. What do you feel?”

Wayne could barely move; he felt like one more newton of frictional force would be enough to tip him over the edge, and for once, he had no idea where he was going to land. “Needed,” he whispered.

“Always,” Oscar murmured. “I’ll always need you, Wayne. Now, come for me?”

And that was enough. Lightning flashed in his nerves, and Wayne fell into warm, wet darkness and silence, away from the madness that roared in his ears.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. Oscar was lying on top of him, the two of them stretched out on the sofa, half-glued together with slowly drying jizz. Somehow, Wayne knew his brother’s eyes were closed behind the goggles, too, and that once they opened their eyes, it was over.

_Not over_ , an echo of Oscar’s voice said in his head. _Not now._

He took a deep breath and looked up. Sure enough, he was Insano again. Oddly enough, he was fairly certain he was still holding Oscar, but that would change too, in a few seconds. 

Idly, he stroked Oscar’s hair. No need to rush the moment.

A few minutes later, Linksano pushed himself to his hands and knees. “Let me fetch some towels,” he suggested. “One of us should probably shower.”

“No rush,” Insano mused. He looked up at Linksano, then raised himself up on his elbows and kissed him again. Linksano kissed back, greedily, hungrily. It didn’t feel much different. It still felt - right. 

Linksano looked vaguely sad as they pulled apart, but he didn’t say anything; he just stared into Insano’s lenses as if he were reading them.

Patting his hair back into place, Insano allowed himself a smile. “So, Linkara mentioned that you’d made some modifications to the teleporter on your ship that you were particularly proud of,” he said.

“It’s an ongoing process,” Linksano replied, reaching for his shirt and trousers. “There’s a trade-off between accuracy and energy expenditure. I’ve made some adjustments to the quasi-temporal field oscillators that have improved the accuracy and sped up the process without any significant increase in the power demands.”

“That’s quite impressive,” Insano observed. “I noticed, when I was scanning the teleporter field transmissions from Neutro, that there were pseudo-temporal as well as quasi-temporal oscillations, some at very high frequencies.”

“There are, but for the most part, I can’t change those,” Linksano admitted.

“Why not?” Insano asked. “And how are you generating them in the first place? Even with a hypertime reflector, I haven’t been able to replicate those.” He leaned over the arm of the sofa and groped for his scrub top; it had fallen in the middle of a pile of packing peanuts.

“They’re a part of the ship’s original system,” Linksano answered with a twisted smile. “I don’t know exactly how it’s generating them, either, although since I started working in partnership with Linkara I think I know _why_ it’s generating them.”

Insano stared at him, but he just kept that stupid half-smile aimed at him. “Well?” he snapped. “Are you going to explain that?”

Linksano snorted. “It’s magic,” he said. “I don’t have to explain it, even if I could, which I can’t.” His gaze drifted towards a sensor on the wall. “Yet,” he finished. “Should I get you a towel, or do you need to head home?”

“No, I think a shower would be a good idea,” Insano grumbled. He gathered up his scrubs, lab coat, and the gravity boots, which had become strangely awkward to carry.

Linksano pressed a quick kiss to Insano’s cheek and darted to the linen closet. “Here,” he said, pressing a fluffy beige towel into Insano’s hands. “I should - clean the sofa off.”

The thought of leaving new stains on Linkara’s sofa was strangely amusing, and just a little bit arousing. Insano pecked Linksano back, and marched towards soap, steam, and a chance to clear his head.

“Magic, hmm?” he mumbled to himself as he closed the door and removed his goggles. How had the insides of the lenses gotten so moist?


	6. Face 1: Artifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insano, Spoony, and Linkara try their first scene together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: bondage, light D/s, Insano still uses slightly sex-negative language for dirty talk.

_Three points in space define a triangle._

Glancing around the kitchen he shared with Spoony, Insano wondered whether it would be worth the minor hit to his ego to ask Linksano if he could borrow one of the cleaning rat-robots. The floor desperately needed mopping, and someone - it was impossible to tell who, given how nearly identical their fingerprints were - had left sticky handprints on almost every surface. His own last attempt to build a cleaning bot had resulted in an electrical fire in the bathroom and rather a lot of screaming from Spoony.

Not the good kind of screaming, either. Insano pressed his ear against the door to the den; he could just barely make out the overtones of Linkara’s voice asking a question, and then Spoony replying in the affirmative. Hopefully, that meant they were almost ready; Insano fixed his hair in the reflection on the refrigerator door and puffed his chest out.

Feet shuffled behind the door, then someone dragged a piece of furniture halfway across the room. Another muffled exchange passed, too low for Insano to make out who was talking. More footsteps, then Linkara’s voice rang out clearly enough: “All right, prisoner, are you going to talk? Or am I going to have to beat the location of the lost grimoire out of you?”

“Start beating,” Spoony spat back. “I don’t have to tell you jack shit.”

The _thwap!_ that followed was shockingly loud, even through the door. Spoony must have agreed; the whimper that followed sounded real enough.

The bump of flesh against furniture again, as if someone’s head had been yanked back against the top rail of a chair. “Perhaps you don’t understand how serious this situation is,” Linkara growled, and another open-handed strike rang out.

“I understand just fine,” Spoony snarled. “No one’s going to give you what you want, wizard. We all understand the price.”

Insano smiled and concentrated. Motes of blue lightning sparkled around his right hand.

“Oh?” A third slap, slightly muffled; probably back-handed this time. “Well, then,” Linkara continued, “there are other ways of getting information out of you.”

“Oh, no,” Spoony protested, “you are not going to fuck with my mind with your magic.”

“No? We’ll see,” Linkara crooned.

That was Insano’s cue. He turned the knob and slammed into the door with his shoulder; it opened easily, of course, but this was all about the drama. “Hold it right there, wizard!” he shouted, flinging a bolt of pure science lightning through the gap between Linkara and Spoony.

Linkara jumped back, and Insano watched him reach for his holster purely out of instinct. He recovered quickly enough, twirling the odd contraption he used for a magic wand into position instead. “Who dares intrude on the domain of the mighty sorcerer Linkara?” he bellowed; a shower of sparks flew from the end and bounced harmlessly off of Insano’s lab coat.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Spoony gasped, scrunching down in the kitchen chair he was tied to. He was stark naked, and Linkara had done a thorough job indeed of binding him; Insano wasn’t sure _he’d_ be able to get out of those knots, much less Spoony. His face was red, with the faint trace of a handprint from that last slap.

“It is I, Doctor Insano, Champion of Science and protector of my people!” Insano crowed. “Unhand him, you miserable dabbler in forces Man was Not Meant To Know!”

“Not until I find out where the missing grimoire is!” Linkara shouted back. A fairly impressive fireball flew from the wand; Insano dodged, feeling the heat as it missed him by inches. It impacted into the door behind him in a harmless shower of sparks.

“Then have at you, monster!” Insano launched himself at Linkara, hands outstretched. Linkara ducked and rolled under the attempted tackle, letting Insano land on the floor behind him but taking a knee himself. Insano tucked into a somersault and bounced to his feet where the coffee table would normally have been, facing the wrong way. Well, Linkara was certainly going to take advantage of that; Insano was halfway through a pivot when the sorcerer’s shoulder slammed into his left side.

Insano brought both hands down in a double fist and made contact directly between Linkara’s shoulder blades. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Spoony wince, but he’d hit Linkara far harder before - that wasn’t going to cause any serious damage.

It did seem to take the wind out of him for a second, though. Insano took advantage of the pause in the action to sweep Linkara’s legs out from under him. Linkara went down, yanking hard at the lapels of Insano’s lab coat as he dropped and dragging Insano down on top of him. Two could play that game; Insano flicked off that stupid hat and grabbed a double-handful of the heavy fabric of Linkara’s robe-like coat.

They rolled over three or four times, scrabbling for better purchase, or at least some leverage. On the final barrel roll, Insano got one foot firmly under his center of gravity and flipped the two of them so that he was definitively on top, straddling Linkara, with his hands pinning down the wizard’s arms. Linkara flailed and bucked, but failed to dislodge his rival.

“Surrender, and I’ll spare you,” Insano said with a grin, “despite your mystical abominations.”

“He’s got you, man,” Spoony called over, grinning almost as wide. “You’re pinned.”

Linkara twisted under Insano and found his escape route blocked by a table leg. “He got lucky,” Linkara grunted. “Um, I mean, magic will never yield to pure science!”

“I can kill you if you’d rather,” Insano offered. “As long as I get to free the prisoner, I don’t care whether I take you in dead or alive.”

“That’s a lie,” Linkara said, smirking up at Insano. “You need me.”

Insano lowered his head, his mane hanging low around Linkara’s face. “What do you mean?” he growled.

Linkara strained upwards and nipped the end of Insano’s nose. “I mean,” he purred, “you _need_ me.” He punctuated his words with a wriggle of his hips that made his meaning perfectly clear.

Insano snorted. “I may _want_ you, puny sorcerer, but _need_? Strong words indeed.” He glanced around; the extra rope was at the other end of the room, behind Spoony’s chair. He wasn’t sure if Linkara’s coat had a belt; if it did, at the moment it was on the underside of the flood of fabric. Cautiously, he grabbed Linkara’s left wrist, moved it over until he could pin both of Linkara’s wrists under his own left hand, and reached behind himself for the belt of his lab coat.

Linkara tried to yank his arm back, but he didn’t have the leverage. “Are you saying I’m wrong?” he sneered.

“Let’s find out,” Insano suggested, leering slightly. He looped the white fabric around Linkara’s wrists and tied a quick knot. “Now you’re my prisoner,” Insano announced. “Take your shoes off.”

“Can I get my hat back first?” Linkara asked plaintively.

“No,” Insano said. “No hat. Shoes and socks both.” What was it with the hat?

Linkara kicked off the shoes, then looked up at Insano. “I can’t reach my feet with you sitting on me,” he pointed out.

Insano jumped up, feet still firmly planted one on each side of Linkara’s hips. “Hurry up,” he snapped.

Linkara sat up and tried to nuzzle Insano’s groin. Insano darted back. “Not yet, sorcerer,” he snarled. “Now get those socks off; they stink.”

With a sigh, Linkara clumsily peeled off his socks (brown and gold argyle that almost matched the suit) and tossed them after the shoes. “Now what?” he asked.

“Unbutton your shirt and vest,” Insano ordered, “and take your pants and underwear off.”

“I can’t take off the shirt with my hands tied together,” Linkara complained.

“Did I tell you to?” Insano riposted. “Leave the coat and the shirt and the vest on, just unbutton them.” He tugged at the impromptu wrist-tie. “Get moving; I swear you’re as slow as lead.”

Linkara unbuttoned his trousers and fumbled with the zipper, but getting a grip on it with his hands tied together appeared to be a challenge. Spoony craned his neck, trying to see what was going on; Insano considered ordering Linkara to turn around, but he was enjoying having this view to himself, and Spoony would get his turn soon enough.

Linkara dropped his pants and stepped out of them, then shimmied out of his boxers (Doctor Strange logos this time). He was about half-hard, and sweatier than that quick wrestling match should have made him.

Insano tugged at the wrist-leash and walked back towards Spoony, trailing Linkara behind him. “Now, let’s get you out of this,” he murmured, digging around in his pockets for a scalpel.

Spoony looked at the thin blade and swallowed loudly. “Um, be careful with that thing,” he said, eyes darting between it and Insano’s goggles.

“Oh, don’t worry, prisoner,” Insano cooed, “I’ll be very careful.” He stepped behind the chair and slit through each coil of rope, watching them fall away from Spoony one by one. He’d been trussed up quite well; once the last one dropped to the floor, Spoony’s pale skin was a network of red rope marks.

Linkara’s eyes were on them, too; he looked unsufferably smug as his gaze traced the map he’d written on Spoony. And now he was harder than Insano was.

Insano tugged on the wrist-leash again. “Come over here, wizard,” he demanded. “Prisoner, can you stand up?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Spoony pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. 

“Good. Wizard, take his place,” Insano ordered.

Linkara looked vaguely puzzled, but he sat down. Insano looped the belt around the rungs of the chair and then knotted it off, on the side away from Linkara’s fingers. “There you go,” he stated, “now you’re a proper prisoner, too.” He glanced around. “Go get the ottoman from over there,” he said to Spoony, pointing across the room.

Spoony rolled his eyes, but he went and got the padded footstool from the jumble of furniture that had been pushed into one corner. “What can I ever do to repay you for rescuing me?” he asked, sounding only slightly sarcastic. “I mean, other than getting you the ottoman.”

“I was thinking I’d take a piece of your ass as payment,” Insano explained. “But while I’m doing that, I think you also need to be taught a lesson. Only naughty boys let themselves be kidnapped by evil sorcerers.”

Spoony waggled his eyebrows. “Oooh, do I get a spanking?” he asked, a little too eagerly.

“Maybe later,” Insano allowed, “but for the moment, I think you need to drain the sorcerer of his vital essence, so he can’t use his spells on us when we leave.”

Linkara’s eyebrows headed for the ceiling.

“Oh, right,” Spoony said, nodding. He tugged the ottoman closer to Linkara’s chair. “Like this?” He planted his knees on the ottoman, turned his pert pale ass towards Insano, grabbed the arms of the chair, and dropped his face into Linkara’s lap.

“Just like that,” Insano chuckled. “If only you were both as capable of taking direction.” He fished a bottle of lube and a foil packet from his scrubs and shoved the waistband down, freeing his rapidly growing erection. “Wait until I get into you before you start sucking.”

“Okay,” Spoony replied, apparently distracted by Linkara’s balls. Whatever he was doing to them was making Linkara squirm in a perfectly delightful manner.

Insano checked his gloves and trickled just enough of the pale green lube onto his fingers; he didn’t want this to be sloppy, and Spoony rarely needed much more. The prep was efficient, almost mechanical, except for the excited quivering of Spoony’s hips; one finger, two, a little stretching, and he was open and ready.

Tossing the glove aside, Insano rolled down the condom and dabbed on another gob. “Okay,” he grunted as he pushed deep into Spoony, “suck him for all you’re worth.”

Linkara’s back arched against the chair. “Oh, god, Spoony,” he groaned, “harder.”

“I’ll tell him when he can go harder,” Insano reminded him. “You’re both mine, now.” 

“So good,” Linkara gasped.

Spoony whimpered as Insano slammed his hips against him, then hummed against Linkara’s cock.

“He certainly is,” Insano gloated. “He’s a good little slut, aren’t you, Spoony?”

“Mmm hmm,” Spoony mumbled around a mouthful of Linkara.

Insano stared at Linkara. “And I think you could be a good little slut, too, wizard,” he purred. “But you’ll have to learn a lesson first. A champion of science doesn’t need anyone.”

“He stands alone?” Linkara asked, arms straining against his bonds as he struggled to thrust into Spoony’s mouth.

“Now you’ve got it!” Insano cackled. “He takes what he wants, when he wants it. And what I want right now -” he bent over Spoony’s back without breaking rhythm - “is for you to kiss me.”

Linkara heaved himself forward, Spoony’s head buried in his lap, and levered himself halfway to standing with his arms pulled tight behind him. His lips met Insano’s like fire meeting water; their tongues entwined as Insano grabbed Linkara’s shoulder underneath the layers of fabric and pulled them closer.

Spoony groaned as Insano’s angle shifted. He should be hitting at the right angle now; Insano thrusted hard, his dick in Spoony’s wriggling ass and his tongue into Linkara’s soft mouth. His toes curled in the carpet.

Linkara dropped back into the chair with a thud. “God, yes, Spoony,” he moaned. “Just a little faster.”

“Suck him hard, Spoony,” Insano encouraged him. “Drain him of every last drop. I want to see him completely at our mercy.”

Spoony shuddered and moaned, his head bobbing wildly. Linkara slid a hand into Spoony’s hair - 

Wait, how had he gotten his hands free? Insano paused for a second, puzzled.

Spoony’s head ducked down, and Linkara growled, a deep half-roar that seemed to travel from his chest to his throat to his lips, then convulsed as his hips arched up. The growl turned into a wordless cry, almost keening, as Spoony’s tongue flashed, then all Insano could see was dark hair and Linkara’s shoulders as he collapsed forward.

“Thank you,” Linkara whispered, and he kissed Spoony’s swollen lips as they came up for air.

Insano slammed back into Spoony like an Atlas rocket, pounding his ass relentlessly, pushing as deep as he could. Normally, he fucked Linkara from behind, too, but seeing him coming from this vantage point was far hotter than he had calculated.

Spoony’s thighs tensed up, and Insano felt the pressure spiking. He raked both hands down Spoony’s back and exploded into him with a howl of triumph. 

As he eased out of Spoony, Insano pointed at Linkara’s now-free hand. “You are seriously not very good at role-playing,” he grumbled.

“I’m sorry, Champion,” Linkara said lightly. “What can I do to make it up to you?” He raised one eyebrow and grinned.

“Well, now that you can use your hands,” Insano ordered, “go ahead and stroke your prisoner off. He’s certainly earned it.”

“He certainly has.” Linkara helped himself to a handful of lube, then draped himself over Spoony’s back and reached beneath him.

“This isn’t going to take very long,” Spoony warned him with glazed eyes. “If Insano - sorry, if the Champion of Science had taken another thirty seconds to nut, I think I might have gotten there hands-free.”

Insano yanked his scrub pants back up and dropped into the chair so he could see Spoony’s face. “Good to know,” he stated. “Now, just enjoy it.”

Linkara shifted so his bare legs were against Spoony’s. “Faster or slower?” he asked.

“Faster but not harder,” Spoony replied, a tremor already creeping into his voice.

“Your pupils are huge,” Insano observed. “There’s hardly any green left at all.”

“Pools to get lost in,” Linkara murmured in agreement.

Spoony’s eyes rolled back and closed; his back arched as he groaned, deep and long. Linkara smiled and kept working until Spoony went limp, then drew back his hand, wet and sticky.

“Did you seriously untie the knots, or were you cheating and using magic?” Insano asked, retrieving the belt to his lab coat from the chair slats.

“Sorry to tell you, but they weren’t that hard to untie,” Linkara answered, clambering to his feet. “I just had to work them around until they were on the same side as my fingers.”

“I’m kinda disappointed you could do that with me distracting you,” Spoony mumbled between gasps.

Linkara shrugged. “What can I say? Well-trained reflexes work even when the conscious mind is occupied.” He glanced at his discarded clothing. “Um, are we still role-playing or -”

“You can go get your pants,” Insano said, waving in the direction of the hat instead. “I think we’re officially in cool-down.”

“I feel like I’m made of fucking jello,” Spoony complained. “If we’re going to do this on a regular basis, I gotta build up some stamina.”

Insano leaned over and rubbed Spoony’s back. “I can get you some water if you’d like,” he offered.

“Give me a minute.” Spoony rolled off the ottoman and sprawled on the floor. “That was more intense than I was expecting, given how little actual pain was involved.”

Linkara finished buttoning his shirt. “Was that too much?” he asked, concern written across his eyes.

“Nah, I’ve taken way worse slaps than that before,” Spoony assured him. “Mostly it was just having you both in me at the same time. Like I said, it was intense.”

Linkara dropped the hat back on his head and strode back to them, shoes in hand. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Nah,” Spoony laughed. “I think a snack would do me a lot of good, though. Anyone want to call for pizza?”

“As long as we’re all mostly dressed by the time they get here, sure,” Linkara agreed, sitting cross-legged on the floor and running one hand through Spoony’s hair.

“Plain cheese or pepperoni?” Insano asked, reaching for Spoony’s phone. “Seeing as how I won this time, I’ll be magnanimous and pay.”

“Oh, so that’s what a Dom is for?” Linkara giggled and hid behind the ottoman as Insano glared at him.


	7. Face 2: Fluidity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Schlumper Brothers are working on a project in Insano's lab when they're interrupted. Smut ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for very mild D/s and the potentially squicky Schlumper relationship.

_A triangle with two congruent sides is an isosceles triangle._

“I don’t think the reaction will be fast enough at this concentration to be self-sustaining,” Linksano explained, swirling the test tube in one hand. It bubbled and smoked, then stopped, as if to prove his point.

“I’m not sure we want it to be self-sustaining for very long,” Insano pointed out. “The point is to produce enough heat to turn the main engines over, but after that the primary reactor should be generating all the energy we need.”

Linksano peered at the test tube. “You’ll need tons of it to produce that much heat at once,” he objected. “Besides, you already have working fusion reactors for your house-rockets. What do you need a conventional rocket for?”

“In case I need to make a spaceship that isn’t a house,” Insano explained.

Linksano blinked at him behind his goggles. “You can’t be serious,” he said, although he did sort of mean it as a question rather than a statement.

Insano didn’t acknowledge the ambiguity. “You could explain to me how the engines on your ship work, if you’d rather,” he offered.

“The main engines are based off of the empirical laws of Vyce’s home dimension,” Linksano sighed. “Technically, they _shouldn’t_ work here. Parts of the ship bend the chronospacial constant just a few percentage points so that things like that don’t fail due to the variations between universes.” He scratched his head, wondering how much of this was safe to tell Insano. “The maneuvering engines and the ones on the scout ship are basically the same as your plasma engines, just more fuel-efficient,” he finished. Linkara seemed to be keeping their old nemesis happy enough that his experiments fell under mad science proper, rather than evil mad science, but there was no guarantee that was permanent. What if they broke up?

“Really?” Insano looked less disappointed than Linksano expected. “In that case, maybe I should go back to working on a hypertime portal instead.”

Linksano allowed himself a smirk. “That’s a solved problem,” he pointed out. “Although surviving in the planes where the universal constants are different is something we could still use more research on. My results and Jaeris’s are sufficiently divergent that we’re not entirely sure we’re always talking about the same things.”

“I thought that was because there was more magic involved,” Insano said dismissively, as he took the test tube and replaced it in its wire holder.

“That, too.” Linksano leaned against the lab bench; suddenly, he was more tired than he’d realized. “My original stabilization device wasn’t magical, of course. Do you have one?”

Insano shook his head slowly and took a step towards Linksano. “As far as I can tell, I’m native to this hypertime plane,” he answered. “Odd as that may seem.” His face betrayed a certain lack of confidence in the statement.

Linksano’s gloved hand settled on Insano’s. “You don’t have memories of a different world, then?” he asked.

“I have memories of all kinds of things,” Insano sighed. “That’s part of the problem.” He perched on a stool and tugged at Linksano’s hand, drawing him closer.

Linksano edged between Insano’s knees. “I’m not sure I understand,” he admitted.

“I certainly don’t,” Insano agreed. “I’d be surprised if you did.” He drew Linksano in for a kiss, then added, “Half of them are incompatible with each other. I always figured it was part and parcel of being mad, but the more I’ve observed you, the less I’m sure that hypothesis is justifiable.”

“I’d theorize it was more closely related to the hypertime dabbling,” Linksano suggested, then claimed Insano’s mouth with his own again. He slipped off his gloves and let his fingers drift under Insano’s scrubs.

Insano returned the favor by discarding his own gloves, tossing them carelessly to the side, and unbuttoning Linksano’s shirt. “Maybe,” he mused as they came up for air. “I was profoundly careless with my initial experimental protocols. Mmm, your hands are warm.”

“And that distinguishes your hypertime experiments from anything else you’ve done?” Linksano chuckled. He wasn’t sure whether his hands were actually warmer than usual, or if the basement lab was just chilly, but running his fingers up Insano’s ribs seemed to be working either way.

“It doesn’t.” Insano’s thumbs found Linksano’s nipples, and Linksano inhaled sharply. “Oh, that’s intriguing,” Insano laughed. “How did I not notice that before?”

“If I recall correctly, I was facing the wrong way the first time,” Oscar replied dryly. “And then last time you had me bent over the arm of that green chair upstairs within ten minutes of saying hello, so they weren’t - oh, do that again! - weren’t exactly in easy reach.” Now that Insano had found them, he wasn’t letting go, and Oscar had gone from mostly-hard to a 9.5 on the Mohs scale in less than half a minute.

Clearly, Insano had noticed that; one hand dropped from Oscar’s chest to the front of his trousers, copping a feel through the thick cloth. “I think I might like this as much as you seem to,” he crooned, wrapping his legs around Oscar’s thighs.

“Just don’t stop,” Oscar begged as Wayne groped him with one palm and rolled a nipple between thumb and forefinger with the other hand. He ducked his head down and gently grazed the side of Wayne’s neck with his teeth.

A loud and sudden noise from the staircase froze them both in place. “Insano?” called a familiar voice as footsteps rang on the stairs. “Insano, are you home? There’s a delivery box on the front porch that’s too heavy for me to -” Spoony stepped off the last riser and stopped short. “Oh, hey, Linksano, sorry, I didn’t realize you were over,” he finished, folding his arms and leaning against the wall.

Insano and Linksano shared a glance, then looked back at Spoony. Linksano could feel his cheeks burning, but he gathered his courage together and answered, “I asked if you were available tonight, and you quite clearly said you were busy.” He swallowed; suddenly his mouth had gone very dry. “I foolishly assumed that ‘busy’ meant ‘not home’. Would you like me to leave?”

Insano yanked him even closer with both legs. “ _I_ certainly don’t want you to leave,” he reminded him.

Spoony unfolded his arms and spread his palms. “No, not at all,” he assured them with widened eyes. “Did I say anything about you doing anything wrong? You’re fine.” A crooked grin spread across his face. “You’re both fine. I thought I was going to be editing all night, but my computer is rendering right now and it says it’s going to take a couple of hours.” He raised an eyebrow. “Mind if I watch?”

Insano leaned to the right, peering around Linksano. “Just watch?” he asked; he sounded skeptical.

“You seemed to have something pretty hot going on already,” Spoony said, grabbing a battered office chair from behind the lab bench and dropping into it with his legs splayed. “I don’t want to interrupt any more than I already have.”

Insano looked up into Linksano’s lenses and whispered, “Do you want him here?”

Linksano leaned down, mouthing the words more than whispering. “I don’t mind if you don’t.” The erection that had half-wilted at the interruption was reacting positively to the thought of having a voyeur, which surprised Linksano a bit but didn’t shock him.

“Do you want him over there or over here?” Insano asked, barely speaking.

“I’d be happier with him over here, I think,” Linksano whispered back. The thought of being between Spoony and Insano jolted him back to fully hard. “But - his choice.”

Insano nodded, then leaned to the side again. “Tell you what, Spoony,” he called, “I’ll make a bet with you. You can watch as long as you don’t touch yourself.”

“Fuck, you’re a tough Dom,” Spoony chuckled.

“If you give in and start playing with yourself - even over your clothes, or sticking your fingers in your mouth to suck on - then you have to come over here and join us instead of just watching,” Insano continued. 

His hand drifted back to Linksano’s groin and gave him a squeeze; Linksano caught the hint and groaned theatrically. He reached around under Insano’s scrubs and ran his fingertips over the pressure points near the spinal column that Insano liked so much; Insano purred and writhed.

“And you have to do whatever we tell you to do,” Insano finished. “Interested?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Insano,” Spoony laughed. “Sure, you’ve got a fucking bet.”

“Turn sideways,” Insano ordered Linksano. “It’ll make a better show.”

Linksano gamely shifted 90 degrees around Insano’s stool and let Insano wrap his legs back around him - a little higher this time, around his waist.

Insano sighed and wriggled, pressing his own erection against Linksano’s through their pants. “Now, where were we?” he asked, tilting his head in Spoony’s direction and exposing the long, pale length of his neck to Linksano.

Linksano dipped his head and bit down, not quite hard enough to leave a mark. Insano squealed and ground against him, his hands becoming claws and raking down Linksano’s back under the black shirt. Letting out another groan, Linksano leaned into Insano’s embrace, thrusting back and stealing a quick glance aside.

Spoony’s eyes were saucer-wide, and his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth. His hands gripped the armrests of the chair as if he feared being drawn out to sea by the tides.

Leaning back, Insano moaned and dug his hands into Linksano’s sides. His thumbs found Linksano’s nipples again and rubbed in small circles, quick, then slow, then quick again. 

Linksano gasped and tried not to either fall over backwards or lock his knees. Those were sensitive under the most dull of conditions; at the moment, stroking them was producing sensations similar to electric shock, only several orders of magnitude more pleasant. Regaining his balance, he quickly claimed Insano’s mouth with his lips, drinking his near-brother’s moans like honey.

There was the distinct purr of a zipper off to Linksano’s left.

Insano broke away from the kiss and cackled. “You weren’t even trying, were you?” he laughed.

Spoony whipped off his t-shirt and stepped into place behind Linksano, curling his arms around the scientist’s shoulders. “I tried for about a minute,” he said. “Then I realized exactly how much more fun I could be having over here.”

“Glad to know your logical skills haven’t completely atrophied,” Insano replied. “All right, your first order is to hold Linksano - like you have him right now is fine - and play with his tits while I suck him off.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Spoony chuckled. He leaned into the crook of Linksano’s neck and began nibbling at the spot where neck and shoulder met.

Insano unwrapped his legs from around Linksano’s waist and slid off the stool, fumbling with Linksano’s fly. Roughly tugging down his boxers, Insano stroked his freed erection a couple of times, first roughly, then with a gentler touch. “How fast do you think we can get him off?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at Spoony.

“Assuming this is the first time tonight,” Spoony stated, “I don’t think it’ll take more than two minutes.”

“Do you both really have so little faith in my stamina?” Linksano didn’t actually think they were wrong, but it seemed unmanly not to at least register a protest.

“Your stamina expresses itself not in never falling, but rising every time you fall,” Insano said as if he was quoting something, although Linksano didn’t get the reference at all; it got a head-shake and a groan from Spoony. “At least, not now that we’ve convinced you to stay awake for the next round.” Chuckling at his own cleverness, Insano sank to his knees and gave Linksano’s cock a long, flat lick before opening his mouth wide and swallowing him deep.

This time Linksano’s knees did buckle; fortunately, Spoony was holding him up. Insano was damn near deep-throating him already, with his lips grazing his balls; there wasn’t much deeper he could go.

Spoony shifted his grip and pinched Linksano’s nipples, just barely hard enough to hurt. “How’s that?” he whispered into Linksano’s ear.

Linksano managed to not tip over the edge instantly, mostly by virtue of remembering that he was currently pinned between this universe’s equivalents of Wayne and Spoonette, that he had entirely no reason to feel guilty about either part of that, and he was a damned fool if he didn’t make this last as long as possible. It was a near thing, though. Instead, he shivered like a leaf in a hurricane, and whispered back, “If I die of erotic overload, tell Linkara he’s welcome to all of my worldly possessions.”

Spoony nibbled at Linksano’s earlobe. “I think you’ll live,” he murmured, and switched from pinching to running his fingertips over Linksano’s nipples, roughly in time with the bobbing of Insano’s head.

“I’m genuinely not sure about that,” Linksano replied, between shuddering gasps as Insano ran his tongue around him. “There might be an explosion.”

“Well, sure,” Spoony laughed. “We’re actively trying for that - oh, fuck, doesn’t Insano look great doing that? So hot.”

Insano did, indeed, look amazing, with his hair falling everywhere and sweat trickling around the goggles. His cheeks hollowed as he pulled back, then flexed as he slid down Linksano’s length again.

Linksano closed his eyes and made a very undignified noise as Spoony tweaked his nipples again. Maybe not looking would make this last a few seconds longer. But then, closing his eyes made the tactile sensations so much more prominent - he could feel every ridge of Spoony’s fingerprints, every flick of Insano’s tongue, and the surrounding warmth of two bodies just steaming with sexual heat.

He was shaking uncontrollably. Intense arousal did that to him, even more so than intense fear. Linksano tried to force himself to relax, but mostly he just went limp, still trembling.

Spoony wrapped one arm all the way around Linksano’s chest. “It’s like having my own person-sized vibrator,” he murmured into Linksano’s ear. “C’mon, breathe.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Linksano joked back. “The vibrator thing, I mean, not the breathing. I - ah! - I’m breathing as hard as I can manage.”

Insano chuckled deep in his throat; the buzzing nearly made Linksano lose control.

“Seriously, Insano, that’s so hot,” Spoony breathed. “Why don’t I get to see you do that more often?”

Linksano grasped at the chain of thought like it might keep him from drowning in pure sensation. “Well, when he’s with you, presumably you don’t have as good a viewing angle,” he postulated, “and I’m guessing when the two of you play with Linkara, Insano prefers receiving head over giving?”

“More like he prefers fucking his heroic ass,” Spoony mused, as he shifted his grip on Linksano’s nipple back to a pinch. Insano paused in his ministrations to nod before redoubling his suction.

Linksano grinned as a particularly naughty thought occurred to him in the midst of the thunderstorm of sensations. “I’d love to watch you suck off Linkara sometime,” he murmured. “That is, if he’ll let me watch.”

“I bet I can convince him,” Spoony purred right in Linksano’s ear. “Would you like that? Watching Insano do to your boss what he’s doing to you right now, while you and I jerk each other off? I’d love to fucking do that, baby, I’d love to watch you and Linkara both coming at the same time, that’d be so hot, do you wanna come like that?”

Linksano’s brain short-circuited as his entire nervous system shouted its affirmation; an entire hydroelectric plant’s worth of fluid and energy seemed to flow through him and out of him as he came. He blinked his eyes open to find himself half-reclined on the lab bench. Both Insano and Spoony smiled down at him, pre-image and image, somehow both satisfied and hungry at once.

“I love it when he does that,” Insano said softly.

“It’s amazing,” Spoony agreed. “Should we give him a few minutes?”

“No,” Linksano protested. “I’m fine.” He glanced down. “Although it looks like you might have to ro-sham-bo to decide which of you I get to go down on.”

Insano trailed a finger down Linksano’s cheek, then rubbed his own chin. “I think I want to watch you blow Spoony,” he decided. “It’ll give me a chance to test a couple of hypotheses.”

“And we’ll look really hot, don’t forget that,” Spoony reminded him.

“That, too.” Insano shucked his jizz-splattered scrubs and hopped up on the stool he’d vacated earlier, wearing nothing but his goggles and a smirk.

Linksano hiked his trousers back up, then settled on the floor in front of Spoony, stroking his dick between his hands. He wasn’t sure he could start like Insano had, so instead he took several quick licks, darting up and down the length of Spoony’s erection.

“Fuck, yeah,” Spoony sighed, leaning back against the lab bench.

Linksano started slow, first just taking the head into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue, then drawing in the next half-inch, then the next, lightly working his lips and jaw further and further down, until he’d taken in most of Spoony’s length. He began to bob in long, slow beats, drawing most of the way back and then swallowing as much as he could take. He could taste the first drops of pre-cum on his tongue, salty and a bit alkaline.

“Oooohh, yeah,” Spoony groaned, planting a hand on the back of Linksano’s head. “Gimme just a little bit more.”

Linksano picked up the pace and the suction, playing his tongue along the sensitive spots on Spoony’s cock. Slipping one hand between Spoony’s thighs, he cupped his balls, not exactly doing anything with them, just holding them for one more source of sensation.

Spoony moaned and swayed, not quite thrusting into Linksano’s mouth. 

Insano giggled wildly. “Excellent!” he exclaimed. “Get him hotter!”

Opening his throat a little wider, Linksano tugged against Spoony’s hips with his free hand, coaxing his swaying into actual thrusts. Spoony needed very little encouragement; he pushed his way deeper, until Linksano was swallowing him right down to the root.

Linksano was vaguely aware that he was hard again. For all Insano’s joking earlier,he hadn’t been sure that would happen this time. Then again, he hadn’t had a threesome in - well, ever. Perhaps the psychological arousal was enough to overcome age and inexperience.

“Oooh, you’ve got him on the edge!” Insano crowed. “Give him just a little more; I want to see him fill your pretty mouth!”

Linksano slipped the hand at Spoony’s balls back an inch, his fingers probing for a particular spot, as he bobbed his head in time with Spoony’s thrusts. He was rewarded with Spoony’s cock all but leaping in his mouth and a flood of oceanic salt, as Spoony shouted his name.

Panting, Spoony reached down to give Linksano a hand up off the floor. “Aww,” he said, still half-gasping for breath, “looks like Insano’s started without us.”

Somehow, Insano managed to look indignant with his dick in his hand and Linksano’s jizz still in his hair. “I’d like to see you watch that and not need to express your appreciation,” he sniffed.

“Wasn’t that where we started with Spoony?” Linksano asked, shaking out his legs and stumbling over to the stool.

“I seem to recall it was,” Spoony agreed, flanking Insano on the other side. “Should we help him out?”

Insano had already lubed himself while he’d been busy with Spoony; his dick was as slick as it was hard. Linksano gently pushed Insano’s hand aside and started stroking his erection for him. “I think it’s only fitting,” he said, “after cheering us on like that.”

Spoony’s hand joined his, moving in sync. “Looks like we don’t have far left to go,” he noted, then glanced down. “Holy shit, are you ready to fuck again already? Here, let me help you with that.” Suddenly, Linksano’s cock was back in Spoony’s firm grip, and he was being jerked in the same rhythm he was jerking Insano with.

“So greedy,” Insano gasped. “I like that. One of you get your dirty mouth over here and kiss me before I nut.”

Spoony leaned over and kissed Insano hard and deep, his lips claiming Insano’s between them. Drawing away, he turned to Linksano and kissed him just as hard, half-biting at his lower lip. Linksano turned and completed the circle, pressing his lips to Insano’s and letting him thrust his tongue deep into his mouth.

“I’m so close, I can’t believe I’m so close already,” Insano gasped. “Jerk me harder, both of you.”

Linkanso’s and Spoony’s hands closed around each other as they squeezed Insano’s cock between them. Without saying a word, they both leaned over and nipped at Insano’s neck.

“Oh, oh, ah! Science! YES!” Insano shrieked, and erupted between their clasped palms. They massaged him through the last pulse until he softened, wet and sticky in their hands.

Spoony turned his attention to Linksano, who shook his head. “I think I need a break before I’m going to be able to actually come again,” he wheezed. “But that felt nice.” In fact, it had felt incredibly nice, but it was also starting to chafe just a bit. Inexperience was biting him in the ass again; he probably should have asked Spoony to use a little lube on him, too.

“We’re probably all a little dehydrated,” Insano said. “Perhaps an interlude of milk and cookies is in order.”

“If we have any milk left, sure,” Spoony agreed. He paused, turning towards Linksano. “Um, were you serious about being interested in playing with Linkara? Because if you are, I honestly think it wouldn’t be that hard to talk him into it.”

Insano snorted. “He accidentally called me by your name once,” he added. “Said he got confused by the goggles, but I doubt that’s the only reason.”

“I’d be interested, sure,” Linksano admitted, “but - he’s my boss.”

“And when has breaking that sort of artificial taboo been anything other than a turn-on for you?” Insano asked breezily. “I mean, is that really weirder than fucking the spitting image of your brother, twice over?”

That struck home. Linksano looked Spoony in the eye, and shrugged. “If it happens to come up,” he said, “ask him and let me know what he says.”

“Ask him if we can borrow one of the cleaning robots, too,” Insano grumbled. “There’s bodily fluids all over my lab. I’m going to have to disinfect everything.”

“And possibly run a load of laundry before we pick up your kid from daycare,” Spoony added. “Snacks first, though. And getting that package that’s bigger than me off the porch. Last one to the kitchen has to do the dishes!”


	8. Face 3: Ingenuity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Linksano shows Linkara and Spoony all the gadgets he's made that aren't exactly suitable for the Arsenal of Freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoony cusses a lot in this one. Also there are a pile of sex toys and a lot of sensation play, including impact play. Oh, and some accidental magic. How this chapter got to be this long I have no idea.

_Two triangles are similar if and only if all pairs of corresponding angles are congruent._

The teleporter dropped Linksano in the back hallway instead of the living room, which wasn’t unusual - the shared bedroom he, the brat, and the ninja all used was back this way. It did catch him just a bit off guard, though; he’d expected to be left in the living room. He’d have to be more specific to Nimue next time.

It didn’t matter that much; it just gave him an extra twelve steps to be nervous in. Clutching an old-timey carpet bag to his chest, he half-tiptoed to the study door. On the other side, he could hear Linkara and Spoony chatting about something - a video game, from the sound of it.

He knocked, twice. The voices on the other side paused, followed by Linkara’s voice alone: “Come in.”

He tried the doorknob; it wasn’t locked. Linksano let himself in, then pushed the door closed behind him. He wasn’t sure whether Linkara wanted it locked or not, but he figured it might be rude to just assume so, so he left it like that and turned towards them.

The futon was unfolded flat, which Linksano didn’t think he’d ever seen before, and draped with an old blanket. Spoony was half-reclined on it with his feet tucked underneath him, having already ditched his shoes. Linkara was standing by the window, his hands behind his back and an enigmatic half-smile on his face. Spoony looked relaxed; Linkara most certainly did not, although he clearly wasn’t in full battle-mode - for one thing, the coat and holster were nowhere to be seen.

“For fuck’s sake,” Spoony said loudly, “quit scoping the room for enemies and come over here. It’s just us, I swear.”

Linksano scuttled over, feeling his cheeks reddening. The editing chair had been removed to make room to fold out the futon, and there didn’t appear to be anywhere else to sit, but that seemed presumptuous; he set the bag down on the end opposite Spoony and hovered by the armrest.

Linkara let out a deep breath and unclasped his hands. “So,” he announced, “Spoony says you have some inventions you needed to show us in, um, in private?”

“Er, well, yes,” Linksano admitted, blushing even deeper. “That is, if you’re at all interested.”

Spoony made a vaguely rude noise and sat up. “Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ, will you two stop being so stiff!” he huffed. “I thought this might be fun, but if you’re not comfortable with this, just fucking say so and I’ll flip a coin for which one of you to go get pizza and my rocks off with.”

“I - that’s not - please -” Linksano broke off and stared at the wall, furiously wishing his voice wouldn’t crack when he was flustered.

“Spoony, that’s not fair,” Linkara said, much more quietly. “You know I want to be here for this, or I wouldn’t have said yes. But - remember when I was talking about how it was more difficult with you than with Insano, because I had a working relationship with you to keep functional?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Spoony answered, running a hand down his face. “No, I get that, but shit, it’s just sex. No need to act like you’ve never fucking met before and are asking each other to junior prom.”

Linksano opened the bag and fumbled through it. “I’ll admit, I feel as though I have a bit of my reputation on the line as well,” he admitted. “I mean, these aren’t the sorts of inventions one might publish about in an academic journal, but it’s still my handiwork. And I’ve occasionally let Linkara down on that front before.” He was only too glad for the opportunity not to look at either of them, at least for a moment.

“Not in a while,” Linkara pointed out. “Most of our more recent issues have been integrating magic with technology, or not having the manuals for Vyce’s stuff, not anything wrong with your designs.”

“Besides, even if something doesn’t work, we can still have fun without any toys,” Spoony added. “But I gotta admit, I’m looking forward to what you have to show us. What are these made of, extra parts from the ship?”

“Certainly not!” Linksano protested, glancing up at Linkara and shaking his head frantically. “Everything in this bag is made of components paid for out of my stipend.”

“Easy, Linksano,” Linkara said, stepping over a pile of comics topped by a sticky note marked ‘FOR SALE’. “I don’t think anyone here is accusing you of skimming anything out of the science budget.”

Spoony looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “There’s a science budget?” he asked. “I always figured you just sold stuff from the ship to your government contacts when you needed more ultra-tech. I think that’s what Insano does.”

“He probably just sells off the rights to his patents,” Linksano corrected him. “He doesn’t usually sell the inventions themselves outright.” At least two of those patents were on devices that, in his own home universe, he and his brother had invented together. He hadn’t gotten the courage to ask Insano whether that was true here or not yet.

“Really? Huh.” Spoony scratched his head. “I thought he sold the house-rockets to the government directly, but maybe he still has connections there. Anyway, we were going to test out your stuff, not his. I don’t want to think about what an Insano-designed sex toy would look like.”

“Most of this is small improvements on toys that are commercially available, to be frank,” Linksano admitted. “None of this is exactly groundbreaking.”

“I think we’d all prefer that nothing get broken, ground or otherwise,” Linkara said lightly. “Let’s start with something small.”

“All right, I think this fits the bill,” Linksano replied. He held up what looked a little like a child-sized expandable metal watchband, with a few thicker links where the watch face would normally go. “It’s an improved version of the adjustable cockring,” he announced, hoping he wasn’t blushing too hard again.

Spoony looked skeptical. “That looks like pubes would get caught in it,” he objected.

“They won’t,” Linksano assured him. “The gaps between moving parts are much too small to pinch hair or skin.” He grinned at Spoony. “It would help if I had a live model.”

“Sure,” Spoony agreed. “I’ve been waiting for an excuse to get naked, anyway.” He whipped off his t-shirt and shimmied out of his jeans and boxers without actually getting off the futon.

Linkara wrinkled his nose at him. “Stand up,” he ordered. “He can’t even reach you over there.”

“He could come over to this side,” Spoony griped, but he stood anyway, presenting his crotch to Linksano. Linkara stepped closer to watch.

Linksano adjusted the thicker portion of the metal band, and it dialed open, each link rotating slightly to increase the diameter of the ring. He slid it over Spoony’s half-hard dick and tucked his balls through, with the thickest link on top, then tapped it sharply; the links rotated the other way until they fit snugly around Spoony’s junk.

Spoony glanced down and nodded. “Nice fit,” he commented. “Tight but not too constricting. Does it do that automatically, or do you have to set it?”

“It has a small internal scanner and selects an optimal diameter based on your size, blood pressure, and veinous placement,” Linksano explained. “Also - ding, pattern four.”

A light metallic humming filled the air. Spoony’s eyes bulged, and his cock leapt to full attention. “Holy shit, that’s a strong vibrator!” he blurted.

“Ding, pattern two,” Linksano said, and the humming dropped to a lower tone. “The thicker segments all contain micro-vibrators, which can be oriented either inwards or outwards individually. At the moment, two are set inwards and one is set outwards.”

“Turn them all outwards,” Spoony insisted. “This is intense enough I’ll just go numb if it stays this way.”

“Ding, orientation one-one-one,” Linksano enunciated clearly. The humming got very slightly louder, and Spoony visibly relaxed.

“All voice controls?” Linkara asked, leaning down and running his fingers across the metal.

“I have a docking station to charge it, and you can input a specific setting from the station,” Linksano explained, “but in actual operation, yes, if you want to change it you have to give it the voice command. I tried to pick something that wasn’t likely to come up in regular dirty talk.”

“Very nice work,” Linkara said, tugging lightly at the ring. “And can you position the vibrator wherever you want?”

“It works best when it’s either directly front-facing or rear-facing,” Linksano admitted. “I mean, you could face it to the side, but it’s not as much fun and I’m not sure it’s as stable.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Linkara murmured; he looked thoughtful as he stroked Spoony’s length, once gently and once again with more force. Spoony moaned and clenched his hands.

Linksano crouched down, his face more or less level with Spoony’s engorgement. “In front-facing mode,” he continued, “the outward-facing vibrators will contact the clitoral region of a partner so equipped in the missionary or cowgirl postions, or the perennial region of a partner equipped with a prostate in the missionary position.” He demonstrated by pointing to the appropriate region of Spoony’s anatomy, just behind the ring. “In back-facing mode, it’ll do the same for the retrocopulatory postion or for reverse-cowgirl.” His finger slipped upwards, pressing in a circle for just a moment; Spoony’s legs twitched in a particularly gratifying manner.

“That’s impressive,” Linkara allowed. “I like the aesthetic, too. Matches the cybermats.” He patted Spoony’s lower belly. “What else do you have?”

Linksano stood back up and reached into the next pocket in the bag. He came back with a pair of flat-bladed metal clamps with rounded grips, connected by a light chromed chain. “Let me introduce you to the next evolutionary advance in nipple play,” he stated with pride.

Linkara reached out one hand. “Okay, so no sharp edges,” he observed. “Why metal instead of rubber, though? Wouldn’t that be safer?” His blue eyes sparkled as Linksano handed them over.

“First of all,” Linksano explained, “instead of adjusting by screw action, the degree of pressure applied is set using these dials.” He flipped one over in Linkara’s hand, letting his fingers trail across his employer’s palm, and pointed at the tiny brass wheel. “At a one, they’re mostly decorative,” he continued. “I wouldn’t recommend leaving them on ten for more than a minute or so, although they shouldn’t do any actual damage beyond a little bruising.”

“So far, so good,” Linkara agreed. “But what makes them an evolutionary advance?”

Linksano removed a small wrist-mounted device from the bag. He flipped the clamp in Linkara’s hand back over, then tapped a button on the controller.

Linkara jumped and nearly dropped them. “That wasn’t just vibration, was it?” he asked, adjusting his glasses.

“No,” Linksano agreed. “Not only do these contain the same micro-vibrators as the cockring, they also emit a very low-amperage electrical stimulus. Again, not enough to cause any damage; barely more than enough to travel across the surface of damp skin. And the extra shock is purely optional; they can also be used solely on vibrational mode.”

Spoony shuffled in place impatiently. “Don’t put those on me,” he demanded. “Low-amps or not, I’m holding firm on the ‘no electricity above the waist’ rule.”

“Given your medical history, that’s probably wise,” Linksano agreed, “although hardly any fun.”

Linkara looked at Linksano and smiled, then glanced away again. When he looked back, his face was flushed. “Maybe we could try these on you, then?” he asked.

Linksano paused. Last chance to decide this wasn’t a good idea. Did he really want to be that guy who was sleeping with his boss?

Yes. Oh, Science and every Power that slept under the threshold of this universe, yes, he did. He had wanted Linkara since he’d set eyes on him, even if he had, at points, been very, very confused about exactly what he was feeling and how to express it.

He reached for the buttons on his shirt. “Certainly, we can,” he answered.

Linkara’s hand on his wrist stopped him. “Let me do that,” Linkara suggested.

Linksano dropped his hands into his lap and let Linkara open his shirt, fumbling slightly with the lowest buttons. Was it just his imagination, or were Linkara’s hands shaking just a bit?

Linkara brushed the black fabric open, then ran a finger along Linksano’s collarbone before taking the edge of the trenchcoat between finger and thumb. “Can I . . . get these off of you?” he asked, meeting Linksano’s goggled eyes for a second and then looking down.

“Of course,” Linksano said, shrugging the trench off his shoulders. Linkara peeled the black shirt away, then swept the coat and shirt both off of Linksano’s arms and draped them over the arm of the futon.

“Hmm,” Linkara mumbled, peering at the tiny dials. “I’m going to set these on 3. That shouldn’t be too difficult for you to take for a little while, should it?”

“Not at all, sir,” Linksano replied. In fact, he could wear them at any setting lower than a 5 for hours, and had done so on a couple of occasions, back before he’d had time with Spoony and then Insano to look forward to.

Spoony snorted. “Do you usually call him ‘sir’? Or do I need to make you two set some safewords before we go any farther?”

Linkara glanced up at Linksano and half-shrugged.

“I’ve been using ‘enkephalin’ with Insano,” Linksano stated as casually as possible.

“Mine’s ‘Liefeld’,” Linkara replied, and went back to fiddling with the dials.

Spoony opened his mouth as if he were about to object, then closed it again.

Linkara held out one hand. “Let me have the controller?” he asked.

Linksano handed it over and watched as Linkara spun through the menu on its touchscreen with one hand, still holding the pair of clamps in the other. Occasionally, his open hand twitched; Linksano realized belatedly that Linkara was actually trying out the settings, not just looking at the list.

“How come you guys told each other your safewords on your first playtime, and I hadn’t gotten Linkara’s until a month ago and didn’t know Linksano’s at all?” Spoony demanded.

“Because you suggested it,” Linksano answered calmly. Linkara nodded.

Spoony threw up his hands. “Hurry up with those,” he barked. “I’m ready to cut diamonds over here.”

“As you wish,” Linkara murmured, pinching the left clamp open and placing it precisely, followed by the other.

Linksano closed his eyes and let himself savor the pressure, snug but not too tight. A gentle tug brought his lids up; he glanced down to see Linkara’s fingers toying with the chain between the clamps.

“That looks nice,” Spoony leered, peeking over Linkara’s shoulder.

Linkara nodded again. “ _You_ look nice,” he added.

Linksano was starting to blush again when Linkara slipped the controller onto his wrist and swiped the screen. A delightful tingle rolled across his chest, followed by a bare whisper of a buzz from the vibrators.

“Let’s start that low and then ramp it up as we go,” Linkara said, glancing at Spoony’s raging erection and then at Linksano’s chest. He was grinning - more a fox-like grin than Spoony’s more predatory ones, at least.

“Certainly.” Linksano turned back to the bag. “This one includes the same low-amperage stimulus in a slightly more explicit form,” he explained, brandishing a flat, rectangular vinyl paddle. Tiny metal studs spelled out “FOR SCIENCE!” across its surface. He turned to Spoony. “Not above the waist, you said?” he asked, innocently.

“Oh, fine,” Spoony groaned. “Mine’s ‘Akalabeth,’ thanks for asking.”

“You’re welcome.” It was Linksano’s turn to grin like, if not a wolf, at least something much more toothy and predatory than usual. “Bend over.”

Spoony turned, planted his hands on the futon, and waggled his ass provocatively at both of them. “Give it to me; I can take it!” he warbled.

Linksano just barely tapped him with the paddle. Linkara stifled a giggle.

“Oh, come on!” Spoony griped. “Seriously, let me have it!”

Using just enough force to make a proper smacking noise, Linksano gave him another couple of pops, then pressed a near-invisible switch in the handle and barely tapped him again.

Spoony _squeaked_ and fell face-first onto the futon. Linkara and Linksano both burst out laughing.

Clambering back to his feet, Spoony resumed the position. “Caught me off guard,” he sniffed. “Try it again!”

Linksano flicked the switch back and gave Spoony another couple of warm-up swats. Twirling his wrist, he landed a stronger stroke, then another, as Spoony clenched his fists in the blanket but made no noise.

Watching every wriggle of Spoony’s ass, Linkara took a step back and began unbuttoning his own vest and shirt.

Pressing the switch again, Linksano dropped back to warm-up strength and popped Spoony across each cheek in succession. Spoony yelped and twitched in a most gratifying manner; Linksano landed another couple of swats firmly across his whole backside, just a little harder.

“Whoa, yellow, give me a minute,” Spoony gulped, flattening himself on the futon. “The zapper packs a bigger punch than you do.”

“Let me introduce the last toy and then we’ll pick it up from there,” Linksano suggested. He glanced backwards; while he’d been focused on Spoony, Linkara had finished stripping and piled his clothes in a loose stack by the closet. For that many layers, that was remarkably fast.

“Yeah, so far Linkara hasn’t gotten the business end of anything,” Spoony agreed, rolling over and then sitting up gingerly.

“So I’ve noticed,” Linkara said dryly.

“The business end it is, then,” Linksano replied, allowing himself a small snicker. He plucked a small bottle of cloudy, almost pearlescent liquid from the bag, followed by a peculiarly shaped object.

“Are you trying to improve on Insano’s lube formula?” Spoony asked, picking up the bottle and turning it over. The fluid inside clung to the sides of its container.

“Not improving, exactly,” Linksano argued, “but his is a bit thin for certain applications. I was mixing up something that would stay put under -”

“What the hell is that?” Linkara interrupted, in a voice that was equal parts eagerness and confusion.

“Ah.” Linksano held up the gadget. A long, curved swoop of something purple and glossy came to a small bulbous tip at one end and curled into a graceful loop at the other. In its center, another swooping curve started as a sturdy stem, narrowed into a wasp-waist, then expanded into an inverted teardrop. The whole made a vague cursive T-shape, at once both graceful and grotesque, blobby and delicate. “It’s the world’s most advanced butt plug.”

Spoony raised an eyebrow. “Which end goes where?” he asked nervously.

Linksano rolled his eyes behind the goggles. “The small knob goes against your perineum,” he explained, pointing to the bulb at the end of the crossbar. “The loop lets you adjust it while it’s inserted, and pull it out when you’re done.” He shifted his grip and pointed at the stem. “The curve lets it rest against your prostate, and the joint here allows the base and the plug to move slightly independently -”

He was interrupted by a sudden flurry of sensations across his chest. Glancing aside, Linksano saw Linkara hide the wrist controller behind his back. “If you’re not interested in the explanation,” he chided, “you could just say so.”

“ _I’m_ interested,” huffed Spoony.

Linksano cleared his throat and continued. “As I was saying, the base and the plug have a joint that allows them to shift position with respect to each other, but only slightly, so when you flex your pubococcygeal muscles, the rounded end applies varying levels of pressure to the prostate.” He fished the last object, another remote controller, from the bag. “There are similar devices on the market,” he exposited, “although the materials they’re made from are far less sturdy and somewhat less flexible. The primary improvement is another pair of micro-vibrators, one in each bulb.” He tapped the screen on the controller, and the device hummed in two pitches, a root and a major third. “And they’re separately controllable.”

Spoony let out a low whistle. “Hot damn,” he whispered.

Linkara laughed, a little hollowly. “So that’s what I volunteered for, huh?” he said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

Wrinkling his nose, Spoony argued, “I’ve seen Insano fuck you like a jackhammer. Why are you looking at a vibrating buttplug like it’s some alien abomination?”

“I’m not,” Linkara protested weakly. He looked like he was going to add to that thought; instead, he turned around, half-tiptoed to the door, and locked it.

“Now he remembers that the door’s not locked?” Spoony asked under his breath.

Linksano watched Linkara trace two patterns across the door. “And force-field protected, and magically bound,” he answered, watching as the goggles displayed two flashes across the walls and ceiling that Spoony almost certainly couldn’t see.

“What the shit?” Spoony replied.

Linksano shrugged as Linkara returned to the futon. He knew from his own research that taboo-breaking sex was sometimes used to power spells, which might explain activating the magical wards, but that didn’t quite explain why Linkara had chosen this particular moment to seal the room. Surely they’d breached that barrier long before now?

Linkara clapped his hands. “So!” he said, a little too brightly. “Ah, I think someone’s going to have to help me insert it, at least for this first try.”

“Sure, I can do that for you,” Spoony volunteered.

Linksano looked in the bag, then remembered he’d stuck all the prophylactics in his coat pockets. It took him a moment of rummaging to come up with a folded bit of sterile paper; he unfurled it and peeled away a squared-off cylinder of what looked like crumpled plastic wrap. He made a mental note to come up with proper packaging for these as he slipped the tube over the business end of the plug and tugged at opposite corners; it shrank down instantly into a whisper-thin wrap.

Linkara watched the process with interest. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Eventually, I hope it will be a stronger, lighter, thinner alternative to the latex condom,” Linksano explained. “At the moment, application to a phallus too far outside a specific range of sizes and shapes causes an unacceptable level of breakage, and I have no illusions that marketing to a broad range of sizes would result in anything other than everyone purchasing the ‘Extra Large’ box. However, in its current form, it works well for insertable toys without leaving the ring of extra latex at the base.”

Spoony looked like he was about to object, then dropped his shoulders. “Yeah, I might do that,” he admitted. He took the toy from Linksano and slathered it in lube.

“You probably don’t need to use that much,” Linksano warned.

“Nah, he’s tight enough, it won’t slip out.” Spoony flashed his teeth and then gestured Linkara over. 

Linksano rolled his eyes, fished a pink nitrile glove out of the same pocket, and tossed it at Spoony.

Linkara planted one foot on the edge of the futon and bent halfway over. Spoony tugged the glove on, slicked up two fingers, and probed; apparently he liked what he felt, because he spent only a minute loosening Linkara up before applying the wrapped curve of the toy to Linkara’s entrance.

“Ready?” Spoony asked, wriggling the plug in place.

“Go ahead,” Linkara answered, breathing deeply. He shot a grin at Linksano that looked almost embarrassed.

Spoony pressed in, and then sat back in surprise. “Damn,” he whistled, “that went in easy.”

“It’s specifically shaped to be easily applied and removed, but to stay put when no external force is applied.” Linksano watched Linkara’s eyes widen, then turn dark and glassy. “How does it feel?” he inquired.

“Ah, good so far,” Linkara gulped. His hand twitched; a quick surge of electricity prickled across Linksano’s chest and then faded. But he hadn’t touched the controller, had he?

Linksano made sure he was holding the correct wireless controller, then handed it to Spoony. “Now we each have control over someone else’s toy,” he remarked.

“I refuse to use this power wisely!” Spoony proclaimed, sounding far more similar to Insano than usual. He swiped at two sliders on the tiny screen in rapid succession.

Linkara _shrieked_ and nearly fell over; Linksano caught him just in time to lower him to the futon, where he reflexively curled up into a ball.

“Whoops,” Spoony mumbled, poking the sliders back down. “I guess that was too much.”

“Ahaaa,” Linkara wheezed, apparently agreeing.

Linksano crawled up into the center of the futon and laid Linkara’s head in his lap. “Breathe,” he urged. “Spoony won’t do it again.”

“I don’t know if I can promise that,” Spoony said. “I mean, I’ve never heard him scream that high before.”

Linksano scowled at him. “Ding, pattern seven, orientation zero-zero-zero,” he pronounced carefully.

Spoony yelped and clutched at the base of his dick. “Holy fuck, if you’re going to do that, I need your head in my lap instead,” he protested.

“Be nice to Linkara and I’ll be nice to you, then,” Linksano sniffed. “Honestly, I think Insano’s a bad influence on you.”

“Just turn it down before I either manage to nut even with the ring on, or go numb,” Spoony replied, leaning backwards as if he were afraid the cockring could climb up him.

Linksano relented. “Ding, pattern two, rotate all.” 

Spoony relaxed. “Sorry, Linkara,” he mumbled.

Linkara grabbed at Linksano’s arm and unfolded himself halfway. A million-mile stare swept over Spoony on its way to the ceiling. “I don’t think I need much external vibration,” he mumbled.

“Okay.” Spoony peered at the controller and tapped the screen.

Linkara shuddered and arched his back, moaning. 

Linkano hunted for the lube, messily slicked up his fingers one-handed, and reached down to start stroking. He was rewarded with another shuddering groan from Linkara; it seemed to go on forever.

Spoony crawled over, wedging himself between Linksano and the shelves full of comics and curios. “What, no sugar for me?” he purred.

“You weren’t taking what I was giving you earlier,” Linksano complained, but he flipped the lube back open and started on Spoony’s nearly purple erection, too. 

Spoony’s reaction was closer to a sob than anything else. Apparently he’d been trying to be patient and failing. Was even Spoony’s shallow pool of impulse control what separated him from Insano? Linksano doubted that he’d ever manage to convince Insano to put the cockring on in the first place to compare reactions.

“I’m not going to last much longer,” Linkara panted.

Spoony opened his eyes and fumbled with the controller. Then he looked startled and mumbled, “Oh, fuck,” as Linkara gasped and turned into a high-pressure hose in Linksano’s hand.

“Dammit, sorry,” Spoony apologized. “I didn’t mean to end the party that quickly.”

Linkara’s eyes were still unfocused. “Don’t think it’s over,” he burbled.

Indeed, he hadn’t gone soft. Linksano stared down into his boss’s glassy eyes; Linkara’s blue irises were the barest ring around blown pupils. “Shall we find out?” he asked.

Linkara nodded and closed his eyes again. His fingers twitched and found the wrist controller; Linksano was rewarded with a low, throbbing vibration at his nipples. He crooned wordlessly, and was answered with a moan and a sigh from Linkara.

Spoony curled up around them both, his controllerless arm draped awkwardly around Linkara’s back and his head on Linksano’s thigh. “Okay, I think I’m into this invention,” he leered.

“Excellent.” Linksano was finding it difficult to focus on both of them over the throb from the clamps; Spoony’s proximity to his own erection wasn’t helping. “Try preset five.”

Squinting at the controller, Spoony swiped at its screen. “Where are the presets?” he grumbled. “Stop for a sec, you’re distracting me. All I see is the sliders.”

“Next screen,” Linksano replied, slipping his hand from Spoony’s swollen cock to his belly and skating his slickened fingers in small circles.

“That’s still pretty distracting,” Spoony grunted. “Oh, okay, I think I found it.” He poked at an icon on the screen.

Linkara moaned louder and shuddered. His toes curled against the futon as he squirmed closer to Spoony.

Linksano went back to slowly stroking them both. Spoony whimpered and dropped the controller.

“Oh, God,” Linkara murmured, clutching at Linksano’s arm. “Slower. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” Linksano assured him. He briefly wished he had a free hand; if Spoony wasn’t going to play with the settings, he had a few ideas.

“Really close,” Linkara gasped. “God, you’re both so beautiful.”

“Your eyes are closed,” Spoony pointed out. “How can you tell?”

Linkara uncurled just enough to turn Spoony’s face towards him and forced his own eyes open. “You just are,” he breathed. “But if you’d rather - come here.”

Linksano let go of Spoony for a second to let him change position, retrieving the dropped controller and snapping it back on his wrist while he had a hand free. Spoony slithered around until his nose nearly brushed Linkara’s. “This close enough?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Linkara whispered back. He clutched at Spoony’s shoulders and bit down on his own lower lip, gazing into Spoony’s eyes from mere inches away.

Linksano grinned down at the two of them and raised the intensity of the internal vibrator by half a notch.

Immediately, Linkara’s cock erupted in his hand again. Somehow, Linkara managed to keep his eyes open, his gaze still locked with Spoony’s as he came. Several items on the selves behind them rolled off and fell to the floor.

Spoony shivered from heels to head. “Holy shit,” he gasped, staring back as if he were mesmerized as Linkara shuddered and clutched at him.

Linksano grinned harder. “Ding, orientation zero-one-zero, full power,” he enunciated clearly over Linkara’s impassioned groans.

Spoony yelped, his hands involuntarily tighening on Linkara’s arms.

Linksano let go of Linkara (although not before noticing that he still wasn’t softening appreciably) and began stroking Spoony hand-over-hand, long, direct, full-power strokes. His hands were joined by Linkara’s, dancing over Spoony’s balls and trailing down to pet his sweat-soaked thighs.

“Are you guys trying to kill me?” Spoony protested. “I’m - I’m going to explode here!”

“Poor Spoony,” Linkara crooned. “How long have you had that thing on? And we’ve been neglecting you so.” He reached around to rub at the small of Spoony’s back with one hand.

Linksano snickered and kept rubbing, jerking Spoony’s cock between his hands faster.

Spoony made a strangled noise; his face was nearly as red as his dick.

“Tell me what you want,” Linksano cackled.

“Sweet Santa Christ, just let me come!” Spoony begged, arching his back against the futon.

“Ooh, not yet,” Linksano said. He knew he had a full mad science grin on, but surely Spoony was used to that. “Soon. Very soon.”

Linkara shivered again, then scooted down and added his tongue to Linksano’s hands on Spoony’s cock, darting in whenever there was a break in the stroke pattern. It was getting crowded down there.

“I’m going to die,” Spoony wailed. “Again.” He writhed like a snake under their hands, a very slippery one.

“You are not,” Linksano informed him. “You’re fine. Hold still.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Spoony shrieked. “Hold still? Like this?”

Linkara chuckled. “Do what he tells you, Spoony,” he suggested. Two toys and a pen levitated off his desk and hung in the air, as if they were waiting for something.

“I can’t hold still; my balls are about to explode and launch my dick into space like a Saturn V!” Spoony protested, flailing.

“Now there’s a propulsion method I don’t think Insano’s thought of yet,” Linksano mused.

“Fuck!” Spoony screamed and threw himself flat against the mattress, panting.

Linksano gave him one last yank and then stopped, clasping both hands in front of him and steepling his fingers. “Come for me, Spoony,” he crowed. “Ding, release!”

It was more of an eruption than an explosion. Spoony shrieked like a banshee and geysered upwards; Linkara ducked out of the way just barely in time to not get hit in the eye. Just as Linksano was wondering when Spoony was going to run out of breath, Spoony closed his eyes and seemed to shrink, as if his entire body was somehow deflating with his cock.

“Holy shitcocking fuck,” Spoony mumbled into a fold in the blanket.

Linkara moaned and curled back up into a ball. Linksano glanced down at his wrist and bumped the intensity up half a notch again; several more gadgets from the shelves drifted gently into the air.

“How the name of the motherfucking god of dicks is he still going?” Spoony wondered loudly. “I’m three kinds of dead. I don’t think I can move for a week.”

“I have no idea,” Linkara admitted between shivers. “It feels like I could just keep coming forever, but I’m pretty sure that’s not a good idea.”

“It might lead to dehydration,” Linksano agreed, glancing at the slowly growing cloud of levitating objects and adjusting upwards another half-level. 

Linkara’s hands curled into fists in the blanket; he gulped air as he shuddered. The cloud began to swirl slowly clockwise around the room.

Linksano took his time, raising the intensity achingly slowly. He was pretty sure he could get Linkara off hands-free this time.

Sure enough, within a minute Linkara was groaning as though he were about to crack in half and shaking, with his eyes rolled back. His cock twitched, shooting a few drops of something almost clear. 

Spoony laughed and managed to move one arm enough to catch Linkara’s wrist. “Dude, I think you’re done,” he chuckled. “We’ve run you out of spunk.”

“More to the point,” Linksano said as he glanced up at the tumbling current of knick-knacks, “you look like you’re about to astral project on us, and I think this will be more fun if you stay in your body.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Linkara puffed. “Not that I’d mind you trying to fly me, but leaving you two alone seems rude.” He reached around and gingerly levered the plug out as Linksano powered it down; the toys and gewgaws sank back onto the shelves and desks, completely out of order.

Spoony lifted his head an inch and then dropped it again. “Oh, shit,” he mumbled, “we haven’t gotten your mad scientist off yet, and I don’t think I can move.”

“I can take care of myself,” Linksano assured him. He reached over and removed the re-expended cockring from Spoony’s junk; it looked almost like a bracelet, with droplets of sweat and lube for jewels.

“But you shouldn’t have to,” Linkara objected. “Here you brought us all these wonderful inventions, and we’ve been terribly ungrateful.” He heaved himself up on his elbows and crawled towards Linksano.

“I really don’t mind,” Linksano protested, but as Linkara’s mouth engulfed him, he acquiesced and leaned back against the shelves. A stuffed Pokemon toppled over and bounced off his shoulder.

Spoony managed to roll over, reaching for Linkara’s wrist. “Here,” he said weakly, “at least I can do something with this.” The clamps at Linksano’s nipples whined into high gear.

Linksano whimpered and gently ran his hands through Linkara’s hair. Not quite as much to grab onto as with Spoony or Insano, but enough to take hold of a handful, there.

“See, here’s the thing,” Spoony said from somewhere around Linksano’s left hip, “if Insano built a sex toy, it would be a nine-foot hentai robot tentacle, or a full-body fuckbot, or, like, a shoulder-mounted ray cannon that shoots orgasms directly into your brain.”

“The problem with the first two,” Linksano pointed out, “is that robots in this universe, or at least this apartment, tend to develop sentience, if not full sophonce, as an emergent property.” He glanced down. “Not sure if that’s because of all the magic around here specifically, or if that’s just a result of the internal rules of this universe.”

Linkara mumbled “Sorry,” and went back to lapping at Linksano’s cock.

“Either way, it produces a fairly thorny consent problem for sexbots,” Linksano concluded. Linkara’s mouth felt different from either Spoony’s or Insano’s, in a way he couldn’t quite articulate; not better or worse, just profoundly different. If it were one of them, he’d probably have already shot his wad. Linkara seemed like he was in no hurry.

“I don’t think it’s just the magic; that wouldn’t explain Burton,” Spoony noted. “But yeah, I see what you mean. And I don’t think Insano would think about that until after he’d built several and I had to take a sword to the hentai tentacle monster, or something.”

“I’m not sure I’m capable of building an orgasm cannon,” Linksano admitted. “That requires expertise in a vast array of areas, from lasers to neurophysics, that I’m just not as confident in.”

Linkara looked up for a moment. “I think that makes you a more useful scientist than him, frankly,” he said. “You’re willing to work around your weaknesses and re-design things. Insano would just move on to the next project.” He returned to his slow, sensuous sucking again.

“He’s got a point,” Spoony agreed, “but what I was getting at was - does that sound like fun?”

Linksano looked blankly at him. “I haven’t tried building one, so I don’t know,” he said.

“Not making it,” Spoony argued. “Being hit with it.”

Linksano’s head was starting to buzz along with his chest. “Not without proper foreplay, no.”

“Exactly!” Spoony concluded. “What I was getting at was that Insano wouldn’t make small, fun stuff like these.” He made an adjustment; the clamps let out a zap of electricity to go with the nearly-overwhelming vibrations. “He’d go for huge fuck-off stuff that would be absolutely useless in a real bedroom.”

“I’m not sure sexbots would be, ah, ah!, would be useless,” Linksano argued against the tide of sensation creeping up his spine to meet the buzzing at his chest.

“You do both want to argue until the very last possible moment, though,” Spoony said ruefully. 

Linkara nodded, and without losing rhythm, reached up and gave the chain connecting the clamps a gentle but firm tug.

That did it. Linksano yelped and twitched, dissolving into a flood of nerve impulses and then reassembling himself as Linkara swallowed.

Spoony seemed to have regained at least a little muscle tone; he dragged himself up to sitting. “So, are you going to patent any of these?” he asked, slipping the controller from his wrist.

“Right now, they’d be astronomically expensive to make,” Linksano sighed. “Either they’d end up as boutique toys for the ultra-rich, or we’d need to come up with some major advancements in mass production first.”

Linkara held up a hand. “I’m going to take these off,” he warned. “You’re, um-”

“I’ve worn them before,” Linksano assured him, although he couldn’t help flinching just a bit anyway.

Carefully, Linkara squeezed open the left clamp, dropped it in his hand, and then repeated the process on the right. Linksano tried not to hiss and was only marginally successful.

“Maybe we could set up a factory,” Spoony mused. “Get the cybermats to work the assembly line or something.”

“With my luck, they’d unionize,” Linksano said mournfully.

Linkara laughed aloud at that. “Are these all safe for running water?” he asked, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the master bathroom.

“Of course.” Linksano felt his eyelids fluttering. “Not sure I wouldn’t drop one of them down the sink, at the moment.”

“Right there with you,” grunted Spoony.

Shrugging, Linkara admitted, “Actually, a nap first is fine with me. But we do need to clean up.”

“I vote Linkara is the pillow this time,” Spoony volunteered.

Linkara scooped up the three vibrators and carted them off to the bathroom. After a few seconds of splashing, he returned with water running down his forearms. “I seem to have misplaced the hand towel,” he complained, “and I didn’t have pants to dry my hands on.”

“There’s at least one paper towel in the left pocket of my coat,” Linksano remembered aloud.

Linkara fished it out, dried his hands, and climbed back onto the futon. “Okay,” he chirped, “pillow time it is.”

Linksano laid his head on Linkara’s shoulder and fell asleep instantly.


End file.
